The Journey

AXEL F.

2008-01-07T06:39:00.000-08:00

When he can do no wrong...

redcocoon

Branding Bloopers

2007-09-19T03:17:00.000-07:00

In the latest edition of Digital Life, they featured the latest Nokia 6110 Navigator. In an anecdote expounding the wonders of the mobile's GPS navigator, they related a sorry story of how a teenage girl and her friend got lost after a attending a concert at the Kallang Indoor Stadium, somehow ending up at a bus stop where all the bus services were foreign to them. Moreover, the bus service had ended for the day. The story goes on to say how she transmitted her geographical coordinates from her 6110 to her dad's PDA phone, who in turn had to transmit that data to his car's GPS device. The dad has since proudly sworn by the phone's good function after father and daughter reunited on that cold, cruel dark night. Oh ya, that scary episode ended in 20minutes flat! I think they stay in Katong la.

Now, if the daughter had gotten lost, at the very least, at Bukit Timah Nature Reserve, I have nothing to say. But seriously, Indoor Stadium? Kallang? GPS? Huh????? Oh come on!

This probably explains why I always wanted a boy. But with a dad like that? You can't blame the daughter, can you?

My next gripe has already been around sometime now. But with the latest launch, it seems no one has noticed the boo boo yet. Yes, i'm talking about the one and only Citibank-SMRT Platinum Card.

Hellooooo? Am I the only one seeing this big oxy- moronic collaboraton? There used to be a time when the Platinum card was a highly-sought-after-yet-limited-to-the-exclusive-few privilege. Now, the card holder is not limited to the supercar owner, but to a public transport commuter too.

And of all banks, it's a surprise that the high and mighty Citibank is committing this industry faux pas.

Oh, oh, and did you ever see this very irritating Pepsi Max commercial featured in the theatres about a boy chasing down his 'bad cheetah' and sticking his hand down his pet's throat to retrieve his can of Pepsi Max, ending with his "duh" friend saying 'that's why I keep a pet hamster'?

Some of these well-heeled advertising executives, along with the ones handling Singtel's MIO and 3G advertising account (please, don't even get me started on that MIO pig), I say, should be sacked and banned from the industry altogether.

They simply cannot make it.

Now, if I was doing a poster ad for the 6110, it'd say ... 'Get Lost' ... The exact 2 words I'd say to that dumb groupie from Kallang.

redcocoon

A Tale Of Two Dinners

2007-08-17T08:24:00.001-07:00

Just recently, over 2 consecutive nights, I attended 2 dinners in which I played 2 extreme roles.

Dinner1 was hosted by a potential supplier who is looking to us (us being my company) to provide an inroad into a big pie; while dinner2 was painstakingly organized by us, hosted by a big-timer, and attended by another equally big-timer. It was really an exciting and tiring experience, playing such diverse roles over 2 nights.

Dinner1 was a casual setting and it happened in a simple Japanese restaurant in town. It was relatively easy for us. We just had to be ourselves. As potential rainmakers to the host, we were seemingly in power. And it felt good - having people taking extra care to make sure we were comfortable and happy. We shared experiences, related industry anecdotes, joked and laughed. Of course, we never crossed any lines nor did we take any advantage of our kind hosts.

Dinner2 was more tense for us. We took on the role of a middleman, aiming to secure a piece of a potentially big pie, through a commercial marriage of 2 biggies. It was not easy for us, for me especially. We had to be ourselves, and more. We were meek and swallowed the humble pie as we witnessed the 2 heads communicating over dinner. At the table of 8 diners, there were 2 billionaires, 2 millionaires, and 4 of us minions. I was simply awe struck, listening attentively, hoping to inherit nuggets of financial wisdom and vicariously experiencing commercial treachery as the big-timers took turns to share their thoughts and experiences.

On hindsight, I remember a Chinese saying which directly translates as "pig's head or dragon's tail". It means you can choose to either be the best of the worst OR be the worst of the best. The former can represent being contented with oneself and not aiming too high, while the latter can mean trying to be the best by being with the best.

I was in 2 minds about my 2 extreme roles. It really is easy to settle for a lower target in life and not stretch oneself. Lower expectations, lower pain. On the other hand, if one wants the high life, then going through the hard knocks is very necessary, bearing in mind that positive results are not certain at all.

This issue will probably bug me for awhile, as long as I have not achieved my wants. Of course, time is an important factor in this equation. As one grows closer to death, one lets go. For that, I wish Time is on my side.

Ultimately, I guess I still want to be a part of the privileged, not so much so I can drive the Ferrari I've always wanted, but to know that under my pillow, I have more than enough to the drive the Ferrari I've always wanted.

redcocoon

Courage

2007-08-06T21:08:00.000-07:00

Some articles back, I mentioned a story about student who was asked to define "COURAGE" in a term paper - he demonstrated it by walking out the exam hall just minutes into the examination, and was rewarded with an "A"; at least, according to hearsay.

I'd like to examine "COURAGE" in another aspect --- one's career, and the rewards that ensue from being courageous.

How many of you are stuck in that same job you took up years back? I'm sure you know of someone who's been doing clerical work on the same desk for decades??

From my first job, I had the privilege of becoming firm friends with one guy whom I think is smart, has initiative, and scores high on the EQ factor. To me, he could go anywhere in life and achieve something. To me, at least. However, almost 10years on, he's still in the same company, albeit in a different department. From a fresh 22year-old boy to a 31year-old man.

Having spoken to people and through my own observations, I gather that people stay on a job that long for security and comfort, not wanting to rock a familiar boat they've become accustomed to. For some, they are comfortable with what they have, no risks, no pain; no gain too. While I find such existence boring and meaningless, I can't fault them on their choice of lifestyle.

The paradox comes about when one has dreams and desires of great fortunes. Well, my friend has such dreams too. So everytime I see him, I tell him that there's a bigger world out there. Each time, he is egged on and spurred spiritually to want to do something to his life. But after each session, he gets sucked back into the humdrum of the daily grind.

I have another friend I've known since 15. He's self-absorbed by nature. A cuter definition is "blur". Totally no EQ. However, he has wonderful analytical skills and can write so well it puts ST journalists to shame.

This guy has been bugging me for career advice. While I'm no corporate high-flyer, I guess he comes to me cos I tell it like it is, screwing him up where necessary. Ok, he's married, wife is gainfully employed, just shifted into a condo that their CPF contributions can easily take care of, and most importantly, parents do not depend on him.

Now, he's in a very enviable position to take that step to go where many successful men have gone - to step out of the comfort zone and take a shot at financial success. However, it's all been coffeeshop talk. We've talked till the cows came home and gone to graze again the next day, and yet, he still hasn't made that move. Many excuses come spilling out of his mouth but the final straw came when he said,"My parents and wife want me to hold down a stable job, that's why I can't do it."

What a load of crap! A man just blamed his current state on his wife and parents. I was rather disgusted, honestly.

I then realised. "COURAGE". It takes a hell lot of courage to take that step. This is especially true in Spore's context where failure is not in our books. I now know that many people stay on not because they want to, but because they do not dare to. In Spore, "following your passion" is not a given, what with the many bills to pay.

If you look closely, our pioneer artistes who have stayed the whole course - Dick Lee, the 2 brothers Kay Siu and Kay Tong, Mark Chan - they all have one thing in common --- rich fathers. Old money that allows them to follow their passion. Other than these people, how many actually dare and can afford to?

There is one person though. My beloved cousin, the big sister of the family. At 41, she made a career switch, and hit dirt, not paydirt. Financially stable in a statutory board for all her career life, she quit to become a student nurse, getting an allowance of less than $1k. Many, many, many people thought her crazy. To leave a stable job for a tough job - not exactly your Nightingale reception.

I, for one, hailed her as the Brave One. I was proud of her conviction to follow her heart. I respected her courage. Not many people would do it at that age. Till today, she's still getting flak, whether directly or behind her back. When I hear of it, I would jump to her defence. Like the cliched No Action, Talk Only, not many dare to do, but most criticise at will.

Ultimately, it's just a fine line between Courage and Stupidity. When one dares to take the step and eventually makes good, everyone would have put him on a pedestal for worship. When Olivia Lum quit her high paying job to invest in water treatment, I'm sure many relatives were disdainful, but look at her now. On the flip side, if one takes the step and falls, the crowd would all jump in and give a group "I told you so!"

In the end, life is short. Do not play to the gallery. Be true to yourself. Life would be boring without any challenges. My heart would skip a beat for the Courageous, for who dares ... wins.

redcocoon

The Changi Village Difference

2007-05-28T07:28:00.000-07:00

Got another Sub, this one from Changi Village. See the huge friggin' difference?!?!?!

The franchisee of Changi Village can proudly say of his cheapskate counterpart --->

"That's the difference between them N'US!"

redcocoon

Flat Sub - Bane of Capitalism

2007-05-21T07:09:00.000-07:00

Last Friday, me and wifey headed down to the new AMK Hub. Wow, if only bus interchanges of the past were like the new one, I'd be a happy commuter.

The place was quite nice, I hope human traffic = sales though. Made a note to come back again to try the restaurant "New York, New York", which was filled to the brim and with a long queue to boot.

Ok, now for my main gripe.

While on the escalator from B1 to 1st floor, I saw it - the SUBWAY sign rising from my horizon. My favourite sandwich store, at least till that night.

I first tried this amazing franchise in California. On a shoestring budget, we found a magazine and cut out a coupon which entitled the bearer to get a footlong Sub at US99cents. (On a separate note, now that's what I call a promotion!). It was the freshest and longest sandwich I ever had, even till this day.

I was really glad to find Subway stores in Singapore later on and religiously chomped down on those sandwiches despite the exhorbitant prices.

That night at AMK Hub, I did not hesitate to pack one for the road. As I queued, I felt something amiss ... more like many vegetables amiss when the staff was serving other customers. Now, in my Subway experience, the staff usually struggle to keep the whole array of fresh vegetables in the Sub (that's what I like most about the sandwich). The copius amounts of veg that cause the sandwiches to bulge beautifully are the very hallmark of Subway. However, in this AMK branch, the staff was trying hard not to put too much veg in the Sub, ever so fervently scooping NON-EXCESS veg back to the chilled tubs.

I was truly disgusted but hoped for the best. It was the same when it came to my turn, maybe even worse. I ordered a footlong Subway Club, which was to have roast beef. When the staff was almost finished scraping the veg from my sandwich back to the chiller, I asked why there was no roast beef in it.

The reply? "You want Melt or Club!?" Now "Melt" and "Club" don't spell alike and don't sound alike. I pitied the staff enough not to blow my top over language deficiency and utter rudeness. But it was a done deed - my gastronomical spirit was flattened by a flat Sub.

I never thought I'd say this. But to the money-grubbing franchisee of the Subway branch at AMK Hub, you put the SUB in SUBstandard.

redcocoon

I'm The Real Joker

2007-05-05T22:54:00.000-07:00

I'm a happy man. I finally got my hands on not 1, but 2 copies of first print, mint condition "The Killing Joke"! And 1 of them is a signed copy by the artist.

Now, to understand my seemingly childish euphoria, I must take you back to a fortnight in my life 19 years ago...

I was a young kid not very much exposed to the cruel adult world then. I chanced upon a newspaper article that comics were rising in popularity in Singapore and how some issues can become very valuable over time. For example, today, a near-mint condition Action Comics #1, where Superman first appeared, is valued at USD$440,000; while Amazing Fantasy #15, which first featured Spiderman, costs roughly USD$45,000. That entrepreneurial spirit in me ticked hard.

Coincidentally then, DC Comics would be issuing Batman's "The Killing Joke", which was widely touted as a highly collectible issue. I tried a few comic shops but I couldn't even get myself on the already full waiting lists. As luck would have it, a classmate of mine managed to get a copy of it.

This classmate was in between things then and was comtemplating letting go of his comics collection. I got "The Killing Joke" from him for a princely $10 (if you read my previous posts, you'd know that was a lot of money to me then). I remember the first time I laid my hands and eyes on the comic. It was truly a work of art, the most beautiful print I had ever seen since Playboy.

I had it all for 2 weeks. But in that fortnight, I would unlock my drawer everyday after school and just happily stare at the cover of the comic. Till today, I never fully read the story for fear of bending the cover and pages, losing the comic's mint status.

Well, this friend of mine got out of things and regretted his decision. He offered to buy it back and the final price agreed upon was a royal sum of $16. Now, 60% profit in 2 weeks - even Soros or Buffet would have been proud of me.

I regretted that transaction for the next 19 years.

Along the way, I tried to get my hands on the comic but either failed to get the first print or it was too costly. Finally, after all this time, I got it! Let's not talk about price here, for the joy I feel now, to experience the same feeling I had some 19 years ago - now that's priceless.

My take? Don't sell out in life. Hang on tight to the things you hold dear. Hang on tighter to the things you may regret giving up later...

redcocoon

Life's Tough, Sometimes Not By Choice

2007-04-27T01:12:00.000-07:00

Just the other day, I witnessed a fight right in front of my eyes. From how it started to its abrupt end, the whole episode was played out while I was in the comfort of my chair slurping up delicious prawn mee at a coffeeshop.

What was interesting about the fight is that on 1 side of the fight, the participants were senior citizens, no less than 60 years of age, 1 of them a woman. On the other side, it was a solo warrior at least 4 decades old. Oh yes, the woman initiated the fight.

It all started because of 5 empty drink cans, with a street value of no more than 20cents. The lone warrior-cum-vagabond had taken 5 empty cans from the tables, 2 from mine, but not before seeking our permissions. The woman, from the coffeeshop, did not take it lightly, as if she had been robbed.

She started shouting expletives at him, while he tried explaining that the cans were the coffeeshop's patrons' to give away. As she got hot, she walked over to whack him with her umbrella. One thing I must say, the vagabond was quite gentlemanly, choosing to just fend off her "swordplay". It was only when her male colleague joined in that the vagabond landed a square punch on the guy's throat.

At this point, a 2nd colleague, a white-haired man who looked 70years, limped to a chair and struggled to pick it up over his head, further limped to approximately 2metres from the lone warrior and flung the chair at him, missing him by at least a metre short. The woman then picked another chair and swung it at the vagabond.

As quickly as it started, the fight paused, while all the participants were panting heavily. Just then, another elderly man who I think is the owner came out and told the vagabond to scram. The lone warrior walked away, but not before complaining aloud about the whole episode.

It was a tad comical. But seriously, the fight started over 5 empty drink cans. I wonder if they are "Singaporeans who did the hard and dirty work to build the nation", for if they are, I'm glad cos an old man promised to look after them. Well, if they aren't, then tough luck eh?

Now, now, not everyone chooses to be poor ok?!

redcocoon

Writer's Choke

2007-04-06T07:36:00.000-07:00

It's been such a long long time. The heart has been very willing, but not the literary fingers.

There's so much to write about. Some journalist wrote that our authorities are highly ranked amongst their counterparts, but question why Singaporeans keep having so many complaints about the powers that be. It's so simple, the fellow counterparts simply wish they have that kind of clout over their people. Think the "Ah Sia Kia" (rich man's son) and his poorer cousins, while Singaporeans are the collective ex-girlfriends of the "Ah Sia Kia". You'd know what I mean then.

Then there's another writer that questions which gender to blame on the decreasing number of marriages. This "out-of-idea" writer is clearly trying to evoke another age-old battle-of-the-sexes "discussion". I say neither; instead, blame it on the "Ah Sia Kia". Just lower the price of basic housing and the price of cars - you'd see a baby boom. The existing baby policies can then be shoved up where the sun don't shine.

Of course, nothing beats the most desparate of all writers, the one who brought up the idea of scrapping the "Singapore Girl" again. Talk about flogging the dead lamb, yet amazingly, the people lapped it up!? My god! Simply put, SIA is nothing without the iconic Singapore Girl. Yes, she's a great way to fly. Just let the lady carry on with her tasks.

More recently and most ridiculously, the "emotive hero" (can't remember if I got the term right). It basically means a person who turns out to be admired although he may not be entirely doing the right thing. Point-in-case is Wentworth Miller's character, Michael Scofield, in the hit drama "Prison Break". The writer goes on to say such a person shouldn't be worshipped as an idol because no one in reality would purposely get into prison just to get his brother out of pruson. Exactly, my dear writer! It's just a show. By trying to question viewers' intelligence, this writer has unwittingly exposed who's the dumbwitted one. Just let viewers escape from reality and revel in the brilliance of the script writers once in awhile. Do not try to read too much into it. It's just a show, let it go...

Yes, so much to write about, yet I went missing for months. Sometimes, it's painful, so many worthless writers out there who have the power of print, and they abuse it with articles of no substance.

Some writers have Writer's Block, I'm overwhelmed by Writer's Choke - too little time, so much to write about.

redcocoon

7

2006-11-14T06:18:00.000-08:00

So, 7 is the current most-hated number.

The signs were there, how could we have missed them?

The infamous itch that comes after 7 years of holy matrimony; I'm sure most are itching to punch a bag now ... the deadly sins that total 7, of which ANGER would be most nascent now ... the 7 dwarfs, who actually represent the inadequacies of men, especially in the presence of a beauty, now and and in all history of time ...

And now, the 7 percent Goods and Services Tax.

Whatever happened to 6? Some people just can't count...

redcocoon

The 4 Stooges

2006-10-02T08:46:00.000-07:00

Tonight, I caught a nice movie on HBO by chance. The movie title is weirdly known as "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants", about the bond between 4 best high-school girlfriends who are separated for the summer. It's a coming of age kind of story - friendship, puberty, emotions and life itself.

I love such shows. This one was set at a nice pace, not too slow. It was about 4 teenage girls who each have to fulfill a certain destiny on their own during summer, and they naively decide on a pair of jeans to be their bonding fabric - the jeans amazingly fit all of them (one of them fat) and would be mailed to the next one after the first had worn it for a week. The jeans began to work its magic the moment a girl wore it, uncannily fulfilling her inner desires.

I guess the way I described it, it must sound like quite a silly teeny-bopper show. But it wasn't. It was a very raw and simple story told from the heart. It reminded me of a group I once belonged to. Now that was silly.

The 4 Stooges.

How "loser" can we get? On hindsight, we could've come up with a cooler name. Kids form or join groups just to be "in" those days. We hammered the final nail on our own coffin the day we called ourselves The 4 Stooges.

More importantly though, I personally very much wanted to form a brotherhood. A bond that bore deep into our roots, unbreakable and dependable. Truth be told, it was a disaster. Far from creating a brotherhood based on loyalty and trust, members of the group were just interested in skirt chasing. I, for one, had always deemed girls then as secondary, preferring to immerse myself more in sports and being loyal and honourable to friends. Well, 1 friend thought I might be gay. I guess I wasn't ready then, for I grew up watching Bruce Lee movies and training martial arts under the wings of a very skilful instructor who had honour and discipline weaved into his entire being.

I guess as kids, many people weren't too sure of themselves then. Puberscent boys were just too busy trying to get into the pants of any other girl then. That caused many ripples in the group. Finally, the 4 Stooges died its natural death, along with a pre-supposed tight friendship among all members. However, the precipitate which did filter through subsequently turned out to be an endearing friendship between one Stooge and me.

Come October 14, I will be attending my secondary school's 50th Anniversary Gala Dinner. It would be a prom I never had as a kid. My dear friend, Ah Tiong, would be there too! I was hoping all founding members of The 4 Stooges would be present that night, but life hardly grants your wishes. One member would be not be attending.

Although I never really gotten along with him, I was hoping he'd show up, just so we could celebrate (for a night) the few years we shared, that we were a part of each other's lives. Unfortunately, a bigger arse would come in his stead. Well, we're not gonna let a thorn spoil everything right?

So I would be there, in part to celebrate a past sharing of lives, and in part to celebrate that some are no longer in my life...

redcocoon

The One With the Billionaire

2006-10-02T04:17:00.000-07:00

Today, I came face-to-face with a billionaire! And it happened in his house!!!

One of the wealthiest man in Singapore, he's not just another rich old man. He is THE man in my industry. In school, we discussed about his work; in the press, there's constant mention of him whenever they make out a who's who list; at work, we can only dream of achieving his financial status.

It was a Kodak moment for me, not unlike an excited fan meeting his idol. Well, after all these years, I met THE man at his house, at the invitation of his child, because a wall on one of the rooms in his mansion was damp. Yes, damp.

I suspected it was a leak from a wet area above the room. Well, the catch. No stranger was allowed upstairs. While I was explaining the need to inspect the upstairs to one of the many staff on hand, THE big man walked in, togged in silk PJs. Surprisingly, I wasn't awe struck at all. I just went ahead to offer my professional view on the matter - that it was not entirely possible solve the problem without indentifying the source of the problem.

Still adamant, he bellowed in dialect,"No need to see, so troublesome! Abit of moisture also won't die. Never mind don't do." To which I said,"I really can't help you if I can't investigate the source of the seepage. If you don't mind it, then we'll leave it for now."

There you go, my first words with a billionaire. Well, it wasn't a "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" moment, where I received wisdom from a legend. But it worked for me fine.

I'm still on a high. :)

redcocoon

Queer Happenings

2006-08-26T02:08:00.000-07:00

It's been a week since I finished my latest reservist training. While still trying to tune back to normal civilian life, certain stuff in the news have been anything but normal.

Happening 1
A local book was launched recently by the "queer", for the "unqueer", presumably to gain acceptance by "coming out". Kudos.

Happening 2
Our beloved SM also came out and said he was trying to find out why aren't Singaporeans producing as much offspring as the last generation. Well, the above could be part of the reason --- ok bad joke, sorry. Back to the riddle. Now, if a friend were to bring this topic up to me at a coffeshop, my reaction would be,"Don't be stupid and act blur la!" But since I'm not at a coffeeshop and most unfortunately not his friend, I can only offer an alternative solution here. Why, you say? Well it's due to the cost of living! All you need to do is reduce the cost of housing and cars and I assure you before you can say "Tax Relief", there'll be thousands more rascals coming out of wombs. The policy planners can then take their Tax Reliefs and shove them up somewhere where the sun don't shine.

Happening 3
Did anyone read Saturday's TNP? Kumar is Uncle Agony!? My God, drag queen humour and real-life issues don't mix, sista! A married lady was worried than her 40-something year old husband does not have any ambition and has been jobless for sometime; however, their sex life is not affected. Lo and behold! The joker says she can't have the best of both worlds and suggests that they should just keeping humping so she doesn't have time to think about the painful reality.

A young lady who's the sole breadwinner of a 3-member family nucleus screams "Help! I'm a shopoholic who might end up bankrupt soon!" Mr Kumar skips along with his brush and paints a rainbow across the horizon and encourages her to enjoy shopping and live for the day, trivialising shopping addiction as wholesome activity compared to drugs.

In a time where Mr Brown is being lambasted for irresponsible abuse of his media reach, here we have a popular drag queen comedian peddling nuggets of family advice. The lines of fantasy and reality have definitely been blurred.

Happening 4
Finally, last but most certainly not the least, in fact, saving the best for last... Zoe swallows!!! I knew it, how else would the queen of Caldecott Hill remain so youthful looking all these years? Ahhhhh, Imedeen pills. In Saturday's TNP alone, a handful of writers had their field day, not to mention the unmentionables on the internet, criticizing the queen for the sexually charged ad.

Bullshit, I say! I dare venture that 99% of these "saints" perching themselves on imaginary higher moral grounds would swallow the real deal for half the endorsement fee she received. That'd be really queer then...

redcocoon

Poverty

2006-07-25T23:59:00.000-07:00

Sometime in May, the Straits Times did a special write-up on the destitudes who are somehow neglected and left behind in currently-booming Singapore. It was something very close to my heart. Although I never had to beg for food, I wasn't exactly born with a silver spoon, maybe not even a copper one. Well, you could say "poverty" is a very distant relative whom I wish to turn my back on.

The past 3 decades have been dedicated to pawing my way out of this darkness. I would like to think I'm on the right track, no matter how long the journey takes. As a kid, I've had my unfair share of drooling over friends' new toys and "visitorless" festive seasons. It wasn't a good feeling.

But no matter how gloomy the going was, one person in my life refused to give up --- my Mummy dearest. Like I said, although I categorize myself among the have-nots, I never had to go hungry once, I had new clothes even during non-CNY days and I could take up taekwondo lessons. All because my Mum scrimped and saved and splurged sparingly on us 4 siblings.

She did her best. I love you, Mum.

While I had all those, I knew what poverty was like. Maybe I took the express route to knowing poverty. You don't wake up smiling. You asked God too many times "why", but never gotten an answer. You trudge along with eyes on the concrete in most things you do, which are not many things, cos you can't afford them anyway.

Maybe being the youngest had its privileges. My siblings were good to me and so was my eldest cousin. They doted on me in most ways, while I duly reciprocated with good academic results, unwittingly shaping myself into the poster boy of the family, probably what they saw as the last vestige of hope to get out of the gutters.

Believe it or not, I never gave my Mum any trouble all these years. Through constant reminders by my eldest bro, I grew up always considering my Mum's feelings whenever I made any major decision. The only time I got into trouble was when I got caught for playing truant 3 days in a row during college days. But I consider that more my arse luck for getting caught than anything else. Come on, everybody played truant at least once before.

Anyway, I went through the entire local academic system, hoping that one day it would do me good. While I was not exceptionally hardworking, I managed to do relatively well in the scholastic arena, even on a latchkey kid lifestyle. I remember the days when my sis would cook all my meals while my parents were out working.

But no matter where life took me or how I sidetracked occassionally, my objective in life was always clear - to make good. It's been tough, very tough. But I'm still looking forward to this privileged lifestyle, yet I try hard not to to lose myself in the course of achieving it.

Now, I have a degree, a small business, drive an SUV and a matchbox of a flat. Seemingly comfortable to some, but far from what I set for myself.

It's a hard fight, but I'm pressing on in this Singaporean Dream. Just so I can tilt my nose up a couple degrees higher, just to give Mummy dearest the bragging right...

redcocoon

Video Killed The Radio Star

2006-07-21T01:49:00.000-07:00

As I was on my way to work today, I heard this radio commercial about a new condo called, The Quartz, by Guoco Land. It really reflects the downfall of advertisements on the radio.

While I can't remember every word in the ad, the gist of it is a guy lamenting the end of World Cup 2006 and sulking about what he's gonna do with all the free time now. Perfectly normal situation most guys face now.

Here comes the disappointment, aptly delivered by a lady. She responds by telling him to head down to the new showflat at The Quartz, going on to highlight the key attractions of this new condo project, suggesting that its the best time to buy.

Hmmm... lemme get this right... guy sad with end of World Cup ... wondering what to do with free time ... woman asks him to go buy a condo. Ok, that works out just right.

Conclusion:
-Women indeed ARE from Venus
-Advertising executives are earning way too much
-Property market must be booming, for people are not paying too much attention to ads

redcocoon

Cathay Returns, So Does Superman ... I ain't!

2006-07-16T04:17:00.000-07:00

We decided to catch a movie yesterday. It was either Superman or Pirates of the Caribbean. We ended up at the newly opened Cathay so we could meet up with my buddy, Ah Tiong, for pre-movie dinner and post-movie drinks. By virtue of ticket availability, we would be watching Superman Returns.

Well, paying a visit to the new Cathay was an experience I looked forward to. I haven't paid the old dame a visit since my school days. There was also an article in ST that put it in rather bad light - uncomfortable seats and lacklustre tenant mix.

Ok, my very first impression of Cathay was inked while looking for a parking space in the very tight carpark. The driveway did not allow a driver much margin for error while negotiating a turn - I had to reverse a couple of times so as to make the tight bends. Well, I soon realised Cathay was more forgiving to itself in terms of mistakes.

Stepping out of car and into the lobby, we had to navigate through a labryinth of monotoned walls to find the main thoroughfare. I told wifey,"I don't like this place already". When we get to the shopping area, we saw many empty shops.

As we settled into our seats, I thought they were rather ok, although they don't rock back and forth like other cinemas. To be fair, I thought it wasn't really uncomfortable, until the show dragged on for 2.5hours.

Yup, although Superman is faster than a speeding bullet, the show really was a bore to me. Admittedly, even to a straight guy like me, this new guy Routh does look good as Superman. That's why everytime Superman appears in a poser scene, I can hear the 2 young ladies to my left cooing and ah-ing away; the same ones who leaned forward from their seats with a glint of tear in the corner of their eyes as Superman was put on a life support machine. Talk about losers.

Oh yes, 15minutes into the show, loud drilling sounds travelled through the thinly insulated walls to our movie hall for another good 20minutes. First time in my history of cinema-going. I'm sure, like me, there was someone contemplating going to the box-office and screwing someone up; but didn't do so cos no one would be rewinding the show for you. Silently, I hoped that some action from the movie would mask the unpleasant noise. Ridiculous!

Maybe because Superman's arch-enemy Lex Luther is merely human, unlike Spiderman's. The only bad thing Lex did was to dip his stolen crystal-stick into the waters. There was a lot less action than I hoped for. With a the computer-aided graphics available today, they only managed to make Clark look cooler as he took off into the sky and when he landed. Honest.

That was when I felt really uncomforatble in the seats. Thinking about it, my speculation is that the almighty and very busy management of Cathay sat on the sample seats for 5 minutes and decided on them, instead of running the full gauntlet of a boring film. They would have realised the seats are really a pain in the ass.

As I gratefully stepped out of the cinema, we made our way straight to the carpark, only to be meted out with the final disappointment of the evening. As my car inched towards the exit gantry, $6.30 was magically deducted from my Cashcard. Yes, $6.30 for my car's unpleasant stay in the carpark.

Honestly, the souped-up Cathay didn't do anything to me. The only nostalgia I felt was that short walk from Picturehouse to Plaza Singapura for dinner - I remember doing that often during my younger days. I ain't heading back to the much-hyped theatre anytime soon. I never really missed this old dame that much anyway...

redcocoon

Where's The Passion, Y'all?

2006-06-27T07:11:00.000-07:00

Well, the World Cup's halfway through and I haven't sat down for a single full match yet. Within earshot everywhere, the World Cup is on everyone's lips. Not about the love of the sport though, more the odds and winnings. At coffeeshops, you see many people glued to the box, celebrating wildly during goals and keying messages on their phones. Most probably punters.

I wonder how many people here watch the World Cup for the game. I maintain that the current S'pore will never reach the World Cup and it's 2010 dream is all but a joke. The budget set aside for this dream is better off given to the S'pore referee who's at the Cup now - for being the first S'porean to reach the World Cup.

Then, I am reminded of what I see on TV. The streets of Korea were a sea of red whenever their team played. The Ukranians cheered wildly while standing and watching their team win in the penalty shootout. 8 years ago, I shared the concrete floor of a town square in Denmark with thousands of locals as the Danish team played.

You really feel the warmth and unity of a nation then. And the above teams are not soccer powerhouses. So, where do they find that spirit to laugh and cry for their teams? Frankly, I don't know. I do know that S'pore does not have it.

I was reminded recently that we used to have this camaraderie. Remember the Kallang Roar? Yup, more than 10years ago, I, a non-soccer fan, used to have dinner at the Old Kallang Airport Market and walk to the National Stadium whenever S'pore had a Malaysia Cup match. I was part of the Kallang Roar.

For those who were there, you will remember the wizardry of Hasnim Haron and Sundram, the scoring prowess of Fandi, the reliability of Alistair Edwards, the off court antics of Abbas Saad and the tank in Borhan Abu Samah. Do you feel the tingling sensation in you?

Gone are the days where you see 55,000 people converge in Kallang for that 90minutes where we stood proud. We were actually good at something, without any government body taking the lead. In those few years, S'pore was known for something other than its policies and busy port.

I was not a soccer fan, I'm still not one. But I went to the National Stadium religiously to soak in the atmosphere. To be as one.

Well, all that is gone. The current S-League is a joke. It survives, I think, only because of Singapore Pools counters. While there is no proof, what Mahathir said may be correct. Once we're made to pay/contribute more, we choose to walk. More than 10years down the road, I wonder whether it was worth losing the Kallang Roar and spirit just because of a technicality.

I browsed through an expat forum yesterday. S'pore was ranked quite badly in a Courtesy Survey while New York was No.1. The weightage of the survey must have been skewed because NY can never be No.1 in courtesy. But more importantly, S'pore too. One expat quipped that S'poreans have no soul. I fully agree. We S'poreans were never allowed to have a soul.

Well, now we're in trouble. Our leader wants us to give 4million E-smiles to delegates landing on our soil soon. I laughed when I first heard this initiative. Finally, we have to resort to this. As an ungracious nation, how would we fare in this attempt at "digital grace"? But then again, our report cards only care about what's on the cards and never how it got there.

Me? Nah, I'm not gonna be part of this meaningless farce. But if I do see a delegate behind me in a mall, I'd hold the door/lift for him; I'd direct him to a place he wishes to go; and I'd greet a hearty "Hello" with a warm SMILE if I pass him on the streets, for the Kallang Roar still lives inside me...

redcocoon

Chain of Fools

2006-06-13T03:46:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, I was involved in a chain collision on the expressway. More than 5 vehicles were involved. The whole incident made me reflect on my life at this point.

My legs still go weak as I recount those few seconds.

It was morning traffic on an expressway. Traffic was heavy but smooth. I was travelling on the 1st lane, on the way to my first appointment of the day, while mentally plodding through my day's schedule.

Suddenly, the cars in front of me started screeching and fishtailing, very much like some scenes you see in the movies. Sensing something very wrong, I applied the brakes immediately. By then, I could see and hear the few cars crashing into one another. I jammed hard on my brake pedal and hoped for the best.

Thank god for ABS! My ABS kicked in and my car came to a standstill just about 3feet from the last vehicle in the initial pile-up. I was halfway through my sigh of relief when the next shock came. Bear in mind all these took place in a matter of seconds.

The vehicle behind me came screeching towards me. As I witnessed that scene in my rear view mirror, 3 decades of my existence flashed by me as I silently whispered, "Not now", and hoped for a second best.

BANG! My rear was hit and the impact sent me crashing into the vehicle in front, hence completing the entire crash scene.

As we stepped out of our vehicles, my relief turned into frustration. My reflex action prevented me from hitting the car in front. But a dumb ass blur driver forced me to join the melee.

On hindsight, it was clear that the driver behind me only stepped on the brakes after I stopped, not when my vehicle was screeching to a stop. All could have been avoided if he was more attentive to the traffic in front.

Looking at the aftermath, I know that my life-long passion for solid cars with doors that close with a firm "thud" paid off. Such cars were the least affected in the crash. The more common budget vehicles involved in the accident all had their front and back wedged in. I was given 1 such car as a replacement while mine was being repaired. I know for sure if I was in the replacement car during that accident, I would have suffered a concussion.

This episode also proved my point that even if you're a careful and alert driver, the one next to you might not be. So, all you bike-riding friends of mine, what the HELL are you thinking???

redcocoon

Rare Sighting

2006-06-11T01:52:00.000-07:00

Last evening, I was navigating the winding roads in Seletar area. It was a relaxing "countryside" drive.

I did the Initial D test.

The only thing I got close to the movie was probably scoring a "D" in trying to keep my "Dao Hway Chwee" still.

Anyway, I came across a stretch of road that divided waters between Spore and our neighbours up north. I was pleasantly impressed by what I saw that I had to stop by the road to take in the sight. Men were fishing while the women were idly chatting away. Children were happily skipping along with olden day Spore as a backdrop.

Nice!

redcocoon

A Time To Reflect

2006-05-13T07:58:00.000-07:00

Some time back, on a lazy Sunday, I had the honour of making the acquaintance of a karang guni man. Yes, a karang guni man; and yes, a big honour.

Instead of just selling off my stash of old papers, we engaged in a conversation. It started off by me asking for a better price for 2months worth of Straits Times. Have you ever felt you'd been fleeced by such men, who however high your pile is, will end up giving you $1 after customarily weighing the stack?

Well, he offered me $2 and asked if I had any old handphones or appliances to sell. It turned out that he is a Chinese Indonesian who lives on an island off Batam. An industrious young man whose main trade is to buy unwanted or broken stuff here and unloads them back home. Collecting papers is only a way of networking and reimbursing the lorry driver when he needs to send his stuff for shipping.

I was impressed, and deeply embarrassed. His spirit and actions were truly admirable but sorely lacking in me. As we spoke, I found out that he converted part of his home to house birds which spit out those precious birds' nest. Half a kilo of saliva he harvests each month, worth a couple of thousands.

Honestly, the longer we spoke, the smaller I felt. Poor, humble, hardworking and generous - a virtous young man.

He left me his contact and invited me to come over his island, where he'll fry me some "Mar Gow Hei" (which I figured was Mantis Prawn), an aphrodisiac we Singaporeans willingly pay $50 each but costs less than 10cents there.

Maybe I will go there one day and learn a lesson or two from him.

redcocoon

I Work For A Big Shot. Therefore, I Am?

2006-05-13T07:22:00.000-07:00

Well..... wake up your bloody idea!

Over the long holiday weekend, I had a chance to visit my friend's club and take some shots with my clubs. Nice club, pretty range and excellent green.

After the good session, noticed that some big shot was in the club too. Don't know, don't care. Just don't stop me in my tracks so that that big f@#* can make his grand entrance.

So there I went about my own business, getting ready for a deserving shower, and I notice a stodgy, spiky haired man loitering in the changing room, staring menacingly at anybody who glances his way. Now, I get a lot of these weirdos in the changing area of a gym in town, but here, in a rather exclusive club? Well, different strokes, I thought.

Venturing out to the cafe after freshening up, I notice more of such species pacing the lobby. Pink Nation Convention? Well, it was a mighty hot day out, so admittedly I was rather slow. Think, think and then think... Ahhhh, bodyguards of that big shot. That explains the suspicious actions of those guys looking out for suspicious characters.

Now, I have no qualms about paranoid elites bringing a platoon of bodyguards out for a relaxing game of golf. The irony of it, eh??? But please, please don't come around treating everyone as suspects. We are all on our relaxing day out too. And no, we are not interested in taking your life. We just want to take a shower ... in peace.

Has anyone been unfortunate enough to have been stopped by the almighty traffic police on the road, just because some VIP in his big Merc wants to pass through without having to stop at traffic lights? Have you seen the number of TP's required to stop traffic for 1 length of road? Like I said, I don't give a hoot where you're going, but please, do not bother me. I pay road tax too. What if I had an emergency?

So back to the rather unfit looking posse, who after much ado about nothing, ended up standing around and cleaning the couple of Mercs. I wonder where their source of pride comes from, to treat fellow innocent Singaporeans the way they do. Just cos' you're working for a big shot, you think you're great too? Nah, I don't think so - you're just there to take a bullet. It's like how I feel about fanatic soccer fans. You think those soccer stars care about you singing their team songs at pubs? Sad to say, they're only interested in your wives and daughters, and of course your money, to pay for the exclusive hotels.

So, my point is - it's your life, live it the way you want. But please, do not treat us as offenders. In the end, we're all humans. We eat. We shit. We fart...

20-year high School Reunion

2006-03-29T01:46:00.000-08:00

Recently, I met Ahtiong73 and a former secondary school classmate. Whaddaya know? It turned out to be our 20-year High School Reunion!

It all started out as dinner at Carl's Junior. It was my second meal there. First time I had it, I thought the food was great, even with the high price. But that night, the patty shrank and the burger was served room temperature. Hmmm, how fast the standard has dropped. Somehow, we started reminiscing about the bad old days... we didn't all enjoy high school.

While updating one another about ourselves and anyone remotely related to us, Ah Tiong wondered out loud why we never had a High School Reunion, or whether there was one and he wasn't invited. We assured him there was never one, well, or us 3 were never invited to one.

However, I concurred that even if there was one, I would have asked them if they were going, basing my decision very much on theirs; which in the end would just be an outing within our group. Further bantering revealed that that night, we would celebrate 20years since entering high school!

It's freaky, real scary to know that we are that old. But that night, I felt like the short, chubby schoolboy with a big crush on a classmate, and later meeting Ah Tiong on the basketball court for the first time.

It's good to know that 20 years on, we're still sharing the same dinner table. Thankfully, some things don't change.

redcocoon

Love Thy Neighbour???

2006-02-08T06:36:00.000-08:00

It was meant to be the dream home. A place I look forward to coming back every single day. It still is very much the dream home. Here comes the problem ... or rather the problems... the NEIGHBOURS!!!

As much as I want to be cordial to my neighbours and very much mind my own business in my home, it's been an interesting ride so far. Isn't the air up there supposed to be cleaner? Well, my fellow dwellers sure can't think straight.

Problem No.1: Noisy Kids
Ah, kids... don't we love these brats? The very future of our nation. Well, I'd be hardpressed to be a quitter and migrate to a foreign land if the kids upstairs are my future. Cos they sure are a loud bunch.

These noises come in the form of the kids doing the decade sprint from bedroom to living room, throwing of marbles, jumping from furniture and dragging furniture across the entire house... yup, there goes another table across the hall.

Why don't you go up and f#@k them, you ask? Well, for one, I simply refuse to turn my home into a warzone, a la Everitt Road. My home is my sanctuary. I believe in building up my case. I have visited the kids' home thrice, telling the head of the household nicely. Since the last time, things have tamed slightly. But I know the next time things get too ridiculous, it'll be the friendly men in blue knocking on their door.

Problem No.2: Water Dripping
My 16th floor neighbour, the family living many floors above me is also another pain in the beep! Their aircon condensing unit drips water all the way down to my aircon unit. Yup, every night, I have a metronome-like trickle that creates a wonderful rhythm for my sleep.

Well, trying to abide by a certain commandment, I did not complain to the authorities right away. Instead, I took the lift up one evening and pressed their doorbell. They ignore it, probably thinking I'm some salesman. I persist. Finally, a big man opens the door and stares dumbly at me, with shoulders slouching.

"Hi, I'm your neighbour from downstairs. I think your aircon is dripping onto mine. Could you please check?"

"No, no, no la! Where got leak? The pipes are all connected properly."

(Ya right, like that plumbers no job liao lor). "Yes, but can you just check and make sure? Or can you come downstairs with me to have a look?"

"No, no, no leak. No need to see. You want you call the government people come and see."

Exact conversation translated from Mandarin to English. It's strange, I went up personally because I'd be offended if a neighbour went straight to the authorities if my aircon was leaking. But here was a f@*king misfit challenging me to contact the authorities for a minor leak.

All I can say now is that this case is currently in the slow hands of our friendly please-write-in-your-problem-we-will-follow-up housing officers. I fear if the leaking is not solved soon, there will come a day when I can't sleep without the rhythmic drip.

Other than the minor hiccups, I must say I am truly enjoying my very own sanctuary. I am sure that when things go my way, I would start to fall for my neighbours all over.

redcocoon

A Tropical Abode

2006-02-03T21:15:00.000-08:00

As you step in and look down the hallway of the new home, you'd notice the length of the dining and living rooms, while feasting on the interesting breaks along the way, from the large wood-framed sliding glass kitchen door, to the wonderfully placed punching board, to the unique there-but-not-there partition separating the dining and living rooms, and to the wooden beams on the living room ceiling.

Instantly, you say,"So yours is the Balinese theme!"

"Correction, it's a tropical theme. There is a difference." The owner was quick to point out.

Same difference? That was the spontaneous mental argument. But as you ponder over the 2 terms, you realise the similarities stop at the dark wood furnishings and the earth-toned wall colours. To describe the place as Balinese would be unfair, hinting at the revisiting of a near passe trend. However, a tropical theme would put place a holistic and timeless feel to the HDB executive apartment, proud of Singapore's tropical climate, yet claiming its own unique identity.

As you venture further into the living room, you notice that most of the furniture cannot be found in furniture shops. The owner explains that they were painstakingly designed and fabricated to suit the tropical theme, and are fully functional for everyday use and maintenance.

"We wanted something different from what you can find in the stores, yet we did not want a house that looks good in magazines but is extremely difficult to maintain," so the owner explains.

Unlike older flats of yore where you can see all the bedrooms from the living room, newer HDB apartments like this offer a much-needed corridor to all the rooms, so there is a good degree of privacy by "hiding" the rooms from public view.

The shortened corridor itself is an inviting walkway that hints conspicuously of a warm abode behind each door. It is lined with timber strip flooring, ending with a false partition that is covered with a bamboo-textured wallpaper. On the floor, a portrait of Buddha's profile has been carefully positioned against the wall to exude a careless, laidback look to the corridor. The other thing that stands out is the intriguing lamp hanging on the corridor ceiling. The owner received this ornamental fishing basket of Vietnamese origin from his brother and transformed it into a lamp which throws an intricate light pattern on the ceiling.

The study is a comely space for the owners to fill out serious paper work, and to leisurely surf the internet too. The first thing you notice is the big wall clock that, well, uses the wall as the backdrop. The large clock, which by itself consists only of a large hour hand and a larger minute hand attached to a small cylindrical disc that hides the mechanisms, was carefully packed and hand carried by the owner's stewardess wife from Amsterdam. It is then that you appreciate the little knick knacks and oil paintings found around the house, all carefully picked from over the world to bring an eclectic mix to the tropical home.

As one steps into the master bedroom, you are awe-struck by the resort-like layout. The cozy sleeping area is adjoined by a walk-in wardrobe with en-suite bath, a nice little TV corner, and even a recessed make-up area ingeniously created by shortening and partitioning up an otherwise unnecessary length of corridor. You soon realise that 2 rooms have been combined to create this princely master bedroom.

A king-size bed sits nicely behind a wooden partition similar to that of the living room and has the same bamboo-textured wallpaper earlier seen in the corridor as a backdrop. It is interesting to see how the designer/owner overcame an inauspicious belief that a bed should not be placed directly under a concrete beam. Instead of wasting precious space by building a false wall to cover up the beam, a wooden light box has been specially crafted and installed under the beam, creating a warm, classy feel to the sleeping area.

The master and guest bathrooms that come with very charming double-leaf wooden doors deserve special mention here. The premium HDB apartment provided for fully fitted bathrooms. However, the colour scheme and materials used were less than desirable to the owners.

"It was not so much that cheap materials were used, but more the colours and choice of materials used were not to our taste," says the owner. "The original orange and green coloured "toilets" were purely functional, where you would finish up your business and get out. They looked very tired and out of place from our ideal look. We revamped both the toilets and now, I proudly call them "bathrooms", where you can really enjoy a relaxing shower or soak in the bathtub after a tiring day."

It is very clear that the owners of this resort-like home suscribe to the idea that a home is purely for relaxing. One would notice that almost the entire house is devoid of white-colour lights. Majority of the lights come in "warm white", which the owner very much insisted. The more serious nodes in the home such as the study and reading bamboo chaise are provided with reading lamps. The only 2 areas that were allowed pure white-colour lights are the kitchen and the wife's make-up area, to ensure that food is properly cooked and make-up is correctly applied!

The final stop in this 1400sf abode is the kitchen. The spanking new kitchen screams intelligent style all over. A towering wood-framed glass door stands by for some serious cooking while the sleek TEKA kitchen appliances are all ready to help the owners whip up their favourite meals. The tower cabinet holding the microwave and convention ovens is strategically placed for easy reach and also to "hide" the laundry area behind. Clever.

At the end of the tour, you feel almost reluctant to leave this resort of a home, not unlike the dreadful feeling you harbour inside when it's your last day of holiday in Bali. Not surprisingly, this tropical paradise is also the owners' favourite destination. With their new place, they can look forward to coming home to a tropical paradise everyday.

Now, to overcome the daily inclination to call-in sick and soak in the bathtub...

redcocoon

Gong Xi Fa Cai

2006-01-31T00:55:00.000-08:00

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

Things haven't quite been the same this lunar new year. Yup, this year, I have a new bride, a new ride, and take pride in reaching a new "status" - the right to give ang pows. Broke, but happy. Haha!

While I have been doing the same visits every year for the last 3 decades, I still look forward to them. The titbits and snacks may be the same, the entire ritual may not vary much, but I can't help but get excited about Chinese New Year. There is just something very heartwarming about the whole occasion that keeps me grounded. I hope this feeling comes back every year.

There're still a few more days for me before starting work proper. I intend to just sit back and lap up the festive mood, while others prepare to get back to the daily grind.

Well, while it lasts, I'd like to wish a Very Happy and Prosperous Lunar New Year to one and all!

redcocoon

Farewell, My Dear Friend...

2006-01-14T21:48:00.000-08:00

When I first heard about you, I didn't even want to see you. But a buddy insisted we take a look at you. He said I may just like you - a Continental babe with all the perks, yet very affordable. I relented.

When I first saw you, it was love at first sight. Being white actually brought out the best in you. I had to have you. You gave me a ride as I slipped snugly inside you. I wanted you so badly.

We had so much fun together, just you and I.

Its been over 2years now... and it's over. You may think it's over between us, but spiritually, I would never let you go. You may think I'm giving you up just cos' you're old and out of shape. I am letting you go because you are tired. You have served me well but you need your final rest.

I am gonna miss you, my dear friend...

redcocoon

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow...

2005-12-24T17:04:00.000-08:00

My favourite time of the year is here. Merry Christmas to one and all!

This year, I have many things to be thankful for. Since Thanksgiving is not a big thing here, I'll say my thanks now.

Just a week ago, I finally saw falling snow for the first time in my life. Prior to that, what I experienced was melting snow, not unlike the kind you see in a bowl of ice kachang. But this time, I actually caught little specks of fluff falling from the sky, feeling like a little kid each time a snow flake landed on my palm, giving me a sweet, tingling chill. And of course, I finally got to ski too, all in the accompaniment of a wonderful lady.

Like Brutus Thornapple explained in today's funnies, the spirit of Christmas is really what's left in the room with you after unwrapping the presents, fun making and jolly drinking.

I had my spirit-of-Christmas moment in Union Square, San Francisco. It was the weekend before Christmas and everyone was abuzz with his/her last minute shopping. It was raining the whole day, creating a nice chill to the air, but not dampening the moods of shoppers. We took a deserving break at Starbucks. As I sat there, the surrounding was just magical, very "Dean and Deluca-esque". If you watched Felicity, you'd know what I mean. People were in their own little worlds having small talk, coffee was brewing, and piped music playing in the background. That's when I realised that the spirit of Christmas rests on the person sitting opposite you. The lights, the mood, and the smell of Xmas are all just props on an empty stage without the leading lady.

Yes, I am thankful for that.

Tonight, we will be having a gathering at my place. There'll be 2 sets - first, family; then, friends. This entire night would not have materialised if not for the hostess and mistress of the house. I am proud to say I just sat there and looked good throughout the entire preparation.

It's been a very busy year for me. Without the family and friends, all would not have been possible this soon. I am certainly thankful for this.

It would be our first Xmas in our new place. As I sit here and reflect on the year that has passed and wonder if I have been a good boy, I can't help but smile. I am already having so much fun.

Have a Merry Christmas and a Smashing 2006.

redcocoon

Squaw Valley - More Than A Ski Lesson Learnt

2005-12-22T12:27:00.000-08:00

Me and wifey just came back from USA. It was a very good trip. I finally got to ski and saw falling snow. And we did all that at a Winter Olympic ski resort - Squaw Valley at Lake Tahoe.

We took up a First Time Skier Package, which included entrance, equipment rentals and a 2 hour lesson. The view up there was totally breathtaking and so was the chilly air.

While we were trudging along in our cumbersome outfit, we were met with several kids, all 6 to 7 years of age, being encouraged by their parents to go faster. They looked shaky and nervous but not once did they flinch. Some fell, and some didn't. For those who fell, their parents egged them to get back up and go at it again.

It was a rare sight. Back home, most parents wouldn't even let their kids out from their sights, much less put them in a pair of skis or a snowboard and telling them to go faster on a powdery slope. Once, at a playground in S'pore, I witnessed an ang mo father hanging his son up on the monkey bars. "Go on, get to the other end," said the dad, releasing his grip on the kid. The kid went a few rungs slowly before losing his grip. Father caught him, hung him up again and said,"Now try again". Given a local parent? The boy would have been smacked for even trying to climb the bars himself.

I always that was the correct way to raise a kid - pushing him to push his limits.

However, I have a good friend who just had a newborn son. Now, before fatherhood ever entered our lives, we always said that when we had kids, we wouldn't push our kids too much. They could be whatever they wanted to be, for we have gone through the Spore educational system ourselves. But now that this friend has a kid, he's singing a different tune, hoping his son will be a famous lawyer or surgeon in future.

I'm not blasting him, no sirree. I may be like that in future too. But I'm putting this down to remind myself.

Back at the Hyatt Lake Tahoe Resort, we were treated with such good service I never experienced in Singapore before. Moreover, from the valet to the bellhop to the managers, everyone carried himself/herself very well. The bellhop was able to make intelligent smalltalk, valet was able and willing to feed us with nuggets of local information and the managers asked us about our stay everytime our paths crossed.

It sure reminds me of what we lack in the service sector here. Now don't get me wrong. I haven't transformed myself into an SPG (Sarong Party Guy) in a short span. But credit is given where it's due. In the hospitality service, they are at least a class above us.

On the day of checking out, we had already privately arranged for a ride to Reno Airport with the cabby who picked us from the Airport on Day 1. He was late. The valet was more worried than we were and after half an hour, approached another cab to take us. However, our cabby called to notify us he'd be there soon.

When he finally came, apologies flowed profusely. But, as he promised us on Day 1, he drove us to Reno Airport to drop our baggage, stopping along the way for picturesque photos, and took us on a 1.5hour quick tour of the Reno gambling strip, at no extra charge, just because its our honeymoon.

Now that's what I call service!

redcocoon

NKF, The Saga Continues...

2005-12-21T20:32:00.000-08:00

Wow! So much more revelations in the midst of this festive season. Would it dampen the spirit of giving???

I am not sure if we are just flogging the dead lamb again, for what I see in the reports are mere confirmation of all our doubts. One thing though, I am surprised that NKF treats less than 2000 patients. All these years, I have been led to think there were tens of thousands of patients that NKF alone handles. That's the power of media for you.

Now, without joining the bandwagon and lambasting those worthy of being lambasted, I just wanna say how the situation can be salvaged. The patients, really, are the innocent ones. To appease all those committed donors, we must see justice meted out on the wrong doers.

If there was abuse of the system and the coffers, then there must be payback. If the very perpetrators are let off on a stern warning, then we would see an erosion of the charitable landscape here.

redcocoon

SPL - Donnie's Back!

2005-11-25T23:00:00.000-08:00

Ah, Donnie Yen, he's back!!! And he's good!!!!!

One of my favourite kungfu stars from the Orient, his latest offering doesn't disappoint. He's put on some weight, but his kicks are still awe inspiring. SPL, starring Donnie Yen, Simon Yam and Samo Hung, go watch it if you're a fan of the police and thief Hong Kong movies and have been hoping that such movies return to their former glory. SPL is just about there.

There are many posing "act cool" scenes. I don't really like such scenes usually but this time round, they just struck a chord. The uber cool Simon does a watchable cat walk in the police station corridor while togged in a dapper suit. And as they pose after bashing a baddie with baseball bats on a rooftop, you can't help but feel the rush from the cocktail of righteous violence, brotherhood and justice.

The show does get abit lost here and there, especially when we see how Donnie quickly switches sides with just a simple cooked up explanation by the script writers.

SPL, however, is not truly the run of the mill police and thief movie. Intentionally or not, the show seems to be saying that "in the good, there is some bad; and in the bad, there is some good". We see one of Simon's man dumping the crook's money in his car boot with a smirk, only to realise that he kept the money for a worthy cause - criminal act, yet admirable. And then there's Simon's desparate attempt to frame the evil head honcho, Samo Hung, just so as to see justice finally meted out. On the other hand, there's Samo Hung's dual personality of baddie at work, doting father and husband at home.

But, but, the real deal about paying $8.50 for this movie is to watch Donnie kick butts. My God! I'd pack my bags and leave for Hong Kong if he's willing to teach me some. To look and kick like that after all these years is no mean feat, I say.

The final part of the show was a one-to-one between Donnie and Samo's bodyguard, followed by Donnie and Samo. More could have been done to showcase the bodyguard while I felt Samo is too old for such scenes. But all in all, the fight scenes were fantastic.

And of course, the show taught us about karma. There's instant karma and there's long-term karma. In this case, Samo had instant karma. Go watch it. You may wanna pick up some martial arts after that.

redcocoon

Pimping My Ride

2005-11-14T07:00:00.000-08:00

The past few months, I have been thinking alot about what to do with my ride. I would probably be stressing about it over the next couple of months too.

Hmmm... to sell or not to sell, that is the question.

Well, my car belongs to the so called high OMV category and it's 5th birthday is coming up in 8 months time. With age comes the need for more replacements. Being continental, it isn't exactly light on fuel consumption.

In recent times, cars have come down to very affordable prices. With a mind of saving up for rainy days, I have been thinking of "downgrading" to a Japanese make. Now, to really enjoy the initial low price, one needs to drive at least a good 6 to 7 years. If you get a new car and sell it in 2 years, you would not be offered a price based on a straight line depreciation. The problem lies herein - I've never owned a car more than 2.5years.

It's not that I'm so well off, it's just that I itch for a new ride after some time. Thus, while it may seem really cheap to buy a new car now, the grim reality strikes when you want to sell it.

With a tight budget, my choices are limited to the man on the street cars. Again, I'm no rich man's son. However, I always feel that a car is an extension of one's personality. The cars I am restricted to really do not scream redcocooooooooon! My friend just got his new ride, which I find is value for money, in terms of metal-per-dollar. His take on his new ride? "It was going at an all time low, it's got a good size, and my current car's time is up, so I bought it, that's all there is to it" I was speechless. Maybe it's just different views, where he treats his car as a Point A to Point B means. I rue the day when such words come out of my mouth. Where's the passion, y'all?!

And then there's this other problem - if I scrap my car now, I would have to top up a shortfall (between outstanding loan and scrap value) of $5k! With so many factors, you see my problem now? In short, I am considering letting go of my current ride, top up $5k, get a new-but-average ride, and sulk for the next 6 to 7 years. My GOD!!!

The truth is, while shopping for the affordable new cars, I was depressed. That's when I realised something was wrong. One should be happy when ploughing down tens of thousands.

As of now, I am leaning towards keeping the 5G's in my pocket, stick with my ride and spend that money when replacements are necessary. My bet is that I wouldn't need that much dough for that particular exercise. Yup, this shall be my strategy, unless of course, I strike the lottery soon.

Pardon me, I'm gonna go place some bets to pimp my ride.

redcocoon

Placebo, si bo?

2005-11-06T15:25:00.000-08:00

The urge to quit puffing has been getting stronger recently. A friend's sister and husband managed to quit just awhile back, with the help of a prescribed drug.

Apparently, this drug, when consumed with proper dosage and care, would turn you off the smell of cigarettes. Simply said, you don't like the smell, you don't smoke. However, you still have to overcome the habit of not holding a fag in your hand and the act of inhaling it.

This friend of mine went on to get the drug himself and has been proudly reporting his achievements thus far. Not totally off the fag yet, but smoking significantly lesser. He jokingly offered to give me two days' worth of pills - two tabs actually - but I turned it down cynically,"You sure it's not just Vitamin C? Placebo, si bo???"

I remember trying out another drug a few years back but it sure felt more like a feel-good pill. After taking it, you feel better instantly but wonder if it's really taking effect, or you think it's really taking effect. Ultimately, it's really you telling yourself it's time to stop.

Due to a bad throat, I've stopped smoking. As I write, with shivering hands and running nose, I'm on to my 4th puff-free day. Haven't really told anybody yet cos I wanna be real sure this time. Hopefully, this time it's for real.

Hopefully, without the help of an expensive drug, I can truly call it a day. Then, I can buy myself a better ride with the money saved. If not, at least I tried?

redcocoon

Mommy, Mommy...

2005-11-01T00:05:00.000-08:00

It sure feels like a Friday evening, although its only the first day of the week. Well, eve of holiday, no work the next day, so we decided to catch a show - Flightplan.

Wifey told me the movie was screening at 7.30pm, the show was actually supposed to start at 7.10pm. I managed to get there in time. Settled down comfortably, hotdog in hand, all prepared to enjoy the movie. Mood set.

Now, just right behind us, there was this family of 3 - father, mother and son. They were chatting heartily. No problem with that for me as the show hadn't started yet. In fact, it was comforting to witness a sweet, tight family outing. Movie starts, the faultlines began to show. As it turned out, the son was the weakest link.

It took all of just 5 minutes to make my final decision to change seats.

First scene, Jodie Foster sits alone at the subway station.
"Mommy, Mommy... why is she sitting there?"

Following scene, Jodie Foster is packing bags.
"Mommy, Mommy... why is she packing her bags?"

Subsequently, Jodie Foster's daughter is afraid to step out of the front door.
"Mommy, Mommy... what is she scared of?"

I kid you not. Every scene, he'd ask why. Sweet Mommy was trying to explain to him in hushed tones, though she didn't know anymore than he did as the show just started.

Goodness, I don't remember anybody being that clueless as a kid. Frankly, if I were the parents, I'd rent a DVD. You just don't wash dirty laundry in public. We relocated to the next aisle in a jiffy. The show went on peacefully and it turned out quite interesting to me, though my wifey didn't quite like the twist.

Surprisingly though, this time round, no handphone was ringing. Everytime I watch a movie, there'd be a blasting ringtone piercing the silence or an SMS beeping away. But no, not this time.

I thank the movie goers' friends and relatives for not calling them - for I know for sure it's not that everybody decided to heed the cinema's request to silence the phone; it's just that nobody called.

In the meantime, before some ministry decides to have a "Cinema Etiquette Campaign", I ask the person above to give me the strength to accept things I cannot change.

redcocoon

Blogger vs Pro

2005-10-23T08:08:00.000-07:00

Call it a mini spat. But I couldn't hold it in anymore.

Did anybody read this article from TODAY newspaper, by its oh-so-high-ranking deputy Plus editor? http://www.todayonline.com/articles/79024.asp

Well, it peeved me so much that I shot an instant retort back. No one has the right to say Singaporean movie goers are illogical. Heck, we pay for what we want to watch!

This is what I said:
I'LL STOP WATCHING CRAP IF YOU STOP WRITING CRAP. DEAL?

The proverbial final straw has emerged.

"A sad week for movies" really represents an entire
era of bad writing! I sincerely think your writer has
run out of quality topics to write since long ago.

On and off, I have read this writer's weekly articles.
To dedicate 1 whole page of free-writing to the writer
is simply unfathomable. Save for that 1 touching
article about the tsunami aftermath in Aceh, most of
the articles make no sense at all. They are not even
funny, if that is what he hopes to achieve. It is
simply beyond my understanding why such aimless
articles that are constantly churned out go under the
Editor's radar.

The fact that Deuce Bigalow is the No 1 movie in
Singapore means movie goers are illogical? An article
like this with no substance has no right to put down
an entire population of local movie goers! Who is to
say movies must be watched based on their
"arty-farty-ness"? Who is to decide on which movie the
audience should spend their money on?

Take note. The Box Office Top Ten list does not tell
the reader which movie has the most substance. It
simply tells you which one is the most popular,
currently. Your writer must be writing for the wrong
publication, for such wilful judgment on movie goers
is really unacceptable. Since when has the Top Ten
list been renamed "Arthouse Box Office Top Ten"?

Now, most people watch comedies for its entertainment
value - the ability to make one laugh, to forget just
for that 1.5 hours. It certainly does not mean the
audience has no taste!

When a writer wields his ink-soaked sword, he must be
responsible. If not, it would be "A Sad Era For
Journalism".

redcocoon

Well, he wrote back the next day, in subdued anger:
> Hello there
>
> Thanks for the entertaining, Singlish humour column.
>
> If you identified yourself, we could have sent your
> piece to HR.
>
> Because we certainly found it funny in the office.
>
> All the best
>
> Neil Humphreys (my real name)

I was surprised. A professional writer was actually offended by my honest thoughts and being a writer, couldn't hide it well in his words. He even challenged me to reveal my name, which I wasn't even trying to hide. So challenge and offer issued, I responded:
No problem dude. I'm just too used to my pseudonym.
The name's Mr Foo. So, save the subtle challenge.
If you guys need a writer with localized, cynical
humour, name your terms. Haha!

Looking back at what I wrote, I may have appeared too
rude. I apologise for that, Neil. It's just that I
have come across too many articles by journalists,
from different publications, who appear to have put
themselves up on their own imaginary pedestal for
self-worship, just cos they have the power of print.
It's frustrating, you know? So, it was an outburst on
my part.

Have a good night!

Yours
Mr Foo (my real name too)

I never heard from him after that. No job offers, no nothing... He must have sat back and thought it wasn't worth it. Redcocoon might just be a "ricebowl breaker".

redcocoon

The Apprentice

2005-10-17T21:23:00.000-07:00

My favourite reality TV show is the Apprentice. It used to be The Amazing Race, but it's getting abit too boring, emphasising more on facets of team bickering than issuing good challenges. Now, the Apprentice is into its 3rd season, but it is interesting to see how the contestants still commit some real common mistakes.

Yesterday night's episode saw a repeat of such simple yet fatal mistakes. The challenge was to design an office tool which helps to reduce office clutter. This particular challenge was hosted by a company called Staples - a mega-sized corporation that has a turnover of US$15 billion a year. That's more than US$1 billion a month!

Mistake #1 - The leader of the losing team chose to do a pseudo-market survey by seating in the office and flipping the phone directory. (The winning team went down to a Staples store to conduct an actual survey)

Mistake #2 - The leader again decided that it was pointless to meet with the Staples executives, the very ones who would decide on the winning product. He felt that a phone conversation would suffice. (The winning team met with the executives face to face)

In past seasons and episodes, leaders who made such lousy calls were fired in the Boardroom by the man himself, Mr Trump. However, this time round, the leader went away unscathed. Well, Mr. Trump has said himself that that leader is one of his favourites.

Now, while seating comfortably on my new sofa and cursing at the contestants' stupid decisions, it is easy for me to pinpoint their mistakes. But of course, I have the power of 6/6 hindsight, a great bystander's view and without the actual heat of being grilled in the show. Or are the contestant's just plain silly? Hmmm.....

What set me thinking was this - is knowledge and work efficiency less important than the ability to "PR" and form relationships with the Boss, to get to the top? A recent comment from an associate had already started me thinking about this. This associate drives a premium soft-top, has a company car at his disposal, another spare car for the wifey, and owns 2 condos, all at age 31. In jest, yet I'm sure there's more truth than not, he said,"I don't know much but I can play politics and mind games real well".

Friends from various industries are always complaining that it's not how well you do your job, but how you can bring in cold hard cash for the company. That's why the rich, with their gold-plated network, get richer. The diligent working class never gets to breathe the air above that glass ceiling.

In my own experience, I left my first workplace cos I didn't know how to suck-up and bootlick. It was impossible to find that impetus to betray yourself, especially when our system promised a good life as long as you did well in school. People I know have had better corporate career paths by helping the boss move house (yes, hard labour, and I helped!), be the boss' caddy in the wee hours of the morning, and even handing the boss a box of luminous Hello Kitty condoms from Bangkok. Really, I'm not kidding.

For me, it's not so much of not being able to swallow my pride and go down that road. It's more about me not being able to kiss the boss' ass without feeling too cheesy about it. When I hear what people do to get a step up, including what I mentioned above, I just cringe. It's simply beyond me to pull such stunts with a straight face and still be able to see myself in the mirror. I'm a Heineken guy (in more ways than one) --- Be True to Yourself.

Well, I guess there's alot to learn in life. At times, you do need to carry some balls to get ahead, or even just to keep up. As a friend once said,"What's pride? Can eat or not?"; and then there's the proverbial "Pride comes before a fall".

Me? I'm still an apprentice myself in the school of life. So, I'm gonna keep on watching The Apprentice and pick up a few tips from the master developer himself, and from all the contestants. As someone once said,"Life is too short to experience everything yourself, so learn from other people's mistakes".

redcocoon

Orgy of Useless Medical Researches

2005-10-13T00:51:00.000-07:00

Just some time ago, I read an article in the Straits Times about the latest findings of a study some American doctors did. Without going into details of the study, the conclusion they drew at the end of the day was, "Men who eat too full in a meal are more likely to contract cancer than those who don't". Well, there you go, millions of dollars from public funds went to gastronomic waste.

Sometimes I wonder - who in the right mind approves such a study in the first place??? Really, what does a doctor hope to achieve in conducting such a study? That a starving guy might think,"Hmmm, I'm so hungry I could eat a cow, but that'll cause me cancer, so I'll just have a glass milk, thank you."? Or that an Ethiopian would rejoice in the fact that he's never gonna die of cancer, but from hunger?

The cynic in me insists that some doctors continue churning out such research ideas in the hope of obtaining regular funding. I believe there's some truth there. However, though a rocket scientist I'm not, it's really unfathomable how such silly studies could go under the radar and get funding for such irrelevant findings.

Oh there's more. It's been said that smoking amongst the older generation could diminish the chances of dementia. Yup, smoke all you want you old hag, you'll have a good and clear memory of how you lose your life to carcinogens. And then there's this other study that says eating chocolates would release endorphins in you and get you horny - an aphrodisiac of sorts. Ya right, keep shoving those bars down my dear. You'll be an unsatisfied nympho when you hit 200pounds on the scales. You'll end up boning yourself with a Toblerone. Ohhh, ribbed.

Why such researchers are called "Doctors", I'll never figure. Why those institutions approve such fundings, I'll never find out too. I just continue to amuse myself when I see such snippets on the papers. Incidentally, I've been doing some research myself. Of course there's no funding for my researches, so forgive me if my findings are skewed.

I conclude that marriage is the number 1 cause of divorces. I conclude that sexy women are number 1 cause of motor accidents. Any finally, I conclude that, statistically proven, life is the number 1 cause of death...

redcocoon

Uncle, You Play Volleyball Also?

2005-10-09T16:51:00.000-07:00

I just settled into my comfortable new crib. Housewarming was a blast, where many friends and relatives turned up. My friend, AhTiong, was nice enough to gather a few friends to add a DVD HD recorder to my living room, COOL.... though I haven't figured how exactly to use it yet.

Anyways, new place, new resolutions. Told myself it's time to get fit again. In my estate, there's a basketball court and enough tracks for jogging.

One night, together with a pal who moved within 5minutes drive from my place, I went to check out the basketball court. There were many kids hanging around. Without warming up our 3 decade-plus old bones, we hit the basket and were promptly approached by the teenagers to join us. Ok, on.

The first few minutes were hell! My pal and I were panting like dogs 5minutes into the 2-on-2 game. During an intermission, my pal said, "I think I twisted my back". But we soldiered on, surprisingly holding our own against the boys who were probably half our age or younger.

An hour later, another friend joined us. While re-organising the teams, we shot baskets casually, and then it happened. A ball came at me after bouncing off the board. Too lazy to take a shot, I casually passed it to another kid, a la volleyball style - you know, a 2two-handed clasp where you hit the ball with your wrists.

"Eh Uncle, you play volleyball also?"

"Uh (youthful me crumbling inside) yes, abit."

"You play in Sentosa too?

"No la, I'm too old for that." Self-deprecating humour....sigh

Another hour of solid ball play ensued. My pal was holding his back most of the time while I was out of breath most times. But it was fun. Seeing the group of boys having fun reminded us of our teenage years.

So, are we too old for sports altogether or are we just plain lazy? Old compared to the boys, yes. But then there are so many more older people who're definitely more active than us. The father-in-law of a friend of mine has a full basketball team!

So what's our excuse? Haiz... The next day, my pal went to the doctor's. He'd sprained his back. The doctor chuckled and said he should've stuck to swimming. Well, looks like my road to fitness has taken a beating.

But with a little perseverance, I might just make it. With more blood rushing through my body, I hope I'll, at least, look like an Uncle no more.

redcocoon

Call Me Ben Dover

2005-09-09T22:31:00.000-07:00

I am recovering from piles. Yes, pain in the ass PILES. Always heard of this condition but never knew it hurt so much!

The pain started 2 days before it got too painful to ignore. I went to my regular doctor, a female one. As I walked into her room in trepidation, she smiled and said,"What's wrong, Mr Foo?"

"I think I have piles, doctor"

"Oh, any blood in your stool?"

"I don't know, I don't look into the bowl after I'm done. Is there any way to cure this through oral treatment?" (fearing the inevitable)

"Yes." (I brighten up!) "But I'm gonna have to take a look at it"

DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Can we not do this? I don't feel very comfortable about it"

She chuckles. "If I don't look at it, I wouldn't know what medication to give you. Now, get on the bed, lie on your side and pull your pants down"

Like a new toyboy, I coyly follow her instructions. I climb onto the bed, remove my pants slowly, pull them down, knowing I'm gonna regret this .... SNAP! Yup, the sound of latex slapping on her wrist. My doctor was ready to finger me.

"Relax... is it this lump?"

"UMMMMM......."

"Yup, you have piles" (I told you that when I first stepped in!)

"I'm giving you this pill, take 2 times daily, and cream , apply 3 times daily"

"Apply?"

"Ya, you just put some on your finger and push it in and rub" Wa lau eh!!!!!!

"And don't take too much heaty food, Mr Foo." (Doc, we crossed that line already, I feel closer to you now, you can call me on a first name basis)

So, for the past few days, I feel like a citizen from the Pink Nation, pleasuring myself. After my bath, my left hand propped on the basin, feet squarely on the floor, I'd BEND OVER the basin, arch myself forward by tiptoeing to have a better access, my right finger would be doing the dirty do.

I feel much better now, thank you for your concern.

My parents are right all this while. From now on, I would eat my brocolli and take more fruits.

redcocoon

Will Work for Petrol

2005-09-01T19:50:00.000-07:00

K, I can't keep mum about this issue any longer. It's been dragging too long and burning a hole in my pocket at the same time.

The point of contention here is ... petrol.

Be it 95, 98 or the ultra premium juice, it's getting too damn expensive!!! Yes, the whole world is feeling the pinch, with oil hitting US$70 a barrel. However, on this little dot that is Singapore, prices are way too steep since day one. While Malaysia and Indonesia are grappling with potential uprisings when they cut the domestic subsidies for fuels, we drivers here have been paying expensive petrol tax for as long as I can remember.

A few years back, an article in the Straits Times featured a breakdown of costs for a petrol station. The 2 items I remember vividly were the rental cost of the land the station is sitting on and the petrol tax. Can't remember the exact figure, but it was high, way too high.

One big reason why petrol costs $2 a litre is due to the exhorbitant petrol tax. I wish, without having Singaporeans write in to the forums, without having them approach their various MPs or without having us resort to online petitions, the relevant authorities would look into lowering the tax rate to lighten our loads. Not every driver on the road is driving a luxury car, on the way to a spa in a swanky club.

Of course, the recent typhoons and hurricanes being blamed for the current rise in prices is all BS to me. The last I checked, typhoons and hurricanes have been thrashing on Mother Earth since long ago, not in recent months. The ones happily laughing their way to the bank are probably the oil dealers, securing high future prices for oil, pushing it higher than it should naturally be, pocketing handsome commissions along the way.

For me, my monthly expenditure on petrol has gone up about 30%. There was a time when my car was a means to earning my keep. Now, I seem to be working to keep the car. Yes, petrol costs me more now because New Orleans (read N'Orleans) is submerged in water. Go figure.

Excuse me, for I have to go make ends meet now...

redcocoon

Complimentary Letter to Cafe Cartel

2005-08-29T13:55:00.000-07:00

Just the other night, me and my woman bought tickets for Bewitched. The show left me more bewildered at the end of it. I rank it in the same category as The Brady Bunch. If anyone caught the movie version of the wholesome family years back, you'd know what I mean.

Anyway, we decided to settle our dinner at Cafe Cartel, seeing that it had an attractive and extensive food menu. After being served our meals, I thought your restaurant had one of the best sauces in the world, and it was free! It sure deserves some airing on my blog. So, here goes...

Dear Cafe Cartel
I must compliment you on the wonderful meal I had at your restaurant just the other night. I must say you serve the best sauce in the world and I didn't have to pay a single cent for it! Now that's what I call taking care of the customer's palette.

The sauce was pepper sauce, Tabasco Brand Pepper Sauce. For me, this sauce can brighten up any dish. Hot and spicy with a sour tinge. It sure worked to it's full potential at your restaurant.

Since watching an episode on the now defunct Discovery Travel and Adventure, where they featured the famous Philadelphia Cheese Steak Sandwich, I've always wanted to try it. But as the place isn't a mainstream attraction, it's pointless for me to walk the streets of Philadelphia just for the sandwich. When I saw you had this signature dish on your menu, it was a no brainer for me. What enticed me most was your description of the melted Swiss cheese, as I fantasized about the hot melting cheese oozing out from the sides of the sandwich. Ummmm, yum yum...

My wifey ordered the St. Louis Ribs and added $3.90 to make it a complete set with soup and free flow bread. While waiting for the food, my woman went to get the bread. It took her more than 10minutes to come back with 4 pieces of bread. I guess the free flow was choked up somewhere. Oh ya, the butter was rock hard cold too.

The ribs and soup came within 5 minutes of ordering, while my woman was still stuck at the free flow bread counter. Express service, I must say. Your kitchen must come well equipped with a boiling kettle for the instant soup you served me and with a well-functioning microwave oven to heat up the ribs and soggy fries. Tabasco Brand pepper sauce, I recommended my woman, to spice up the bland food.

For me, after another 5minutes of anticipation, it came! My first Philadelphia cheese steak. But something was missing. That's right - the hot melting cheese oozing from the sides! It was nowhere in sight. So I lifted up the top bun and lo and behold! The melting cheese was conveniently replaced by a thin coat of mayonnaise. If I remember correctly, melted cheese is one of the hallmarks of the sandwich. Your restaurant musta ran out of the cheese, probably still in transit from Switzerland? However, kudos to your "chef" for taking the initiative to replace the missing cheese with something cheesy. A prized staff, I must say - not disturbing the customer, me, when an important ingredient was not available, such unnecessary information, eh?

I realised the steak was out cold too. It was then that I remembered, Tabasco Brand pepper sauce! I emptied what was left of the small bottle onto my sandwich and chomped down on the sandwich, ummm... nice sauce! Your friendly staff even offered to bring me another bottle, free! I was flushed, both by his service and by the spicy sauce.

All in all, I must compliment you on the most wonderful sauce, at no cost to me, for adding spice to an otherwise bland dinner...

redcocoon

Dishing Out Bland Dim Sum

2005-08-15T17:30:00.000-07:00

It was a much anticipated night that was an anti-climax.

Having resisted musicals almost all my uncultured life, I attended the Dim Sum Dollies last year after much coaxing. It was hilarious! I realised it was a humourous musical that had a very rich local flavour. Aptly described by AhTiong73, Dim Sum Dollies comes in bite-sized skits that can be easily enjoyed, without getting too draggy.

So this year, without any persuasion, I readily agreed to the show, hoping to have another fun night. However, all good things don't last, do they? The show started off on a promising note, but tailed off in the middle of it. All hopes that the next skit would a better, funnier one were dashed and there was no funny light at the end of the tunnel. It just really didn't carry itself off like last year.

Two of the skits were very good. The one about the Icons of Consequence where Selena Tan dressed up as The Merlion, hopping around and puking into the spitoon made for a good laugh. The other one, where Pam Oei (whom I thought was outstanding overall) took on the role of a sweet girl who sang her guts out about lost loves. The latter reminded me of the scene in the Wedding Singer, where Adam Sandler sang Drew Barrymore a song, a self-penned one when he was in between moods. But it was a good skit.

But that's all there was to the musical. The Dollies must have outgrown their bite-sized Dim Sum personas and the show must have been flooded with eager sponsors that they actually carried out a game show featuring all the sponsors' goodies. A sore capitalistic disappointment and a true waste of time.

The rest of the skits drew obligatory laughter but never shone and were very forgettable. Hossan Leong, a big name in the local circuit, could not be depended on to up the ante. However, given the paltry roles he was given, he could not do much, I guess.

At the end of the night, I was left hanging in the air. It sure felt like getting a hard on based on your on fantasy about what was to come, only to be disapponted by reality.

redcocoon

The Unexpected , Unexpectedly ... Just About the Best

2005-08-10T11:52:00.000-07:00

On the eve of National Day, my pal and I made it a point to have an all guy night's out, without the women in tow. Overall, it was a blast, like the good ol' times. Come to think of it, we've known each other for more than half our lives!

His sis would be performing at the open-air area by the Esplanade. Free concert, good company and no work the next day - smells like a great night out. Met at Marina Sq, ordered a monster of a burger from Carl's Junior and made our way there. Parked ourselves on the steps of the bayfront and chomped down on the food, while enjoying the riverview in front and performers on the side.

When the concert was about to start, we made our way to the front of the stage, which I later learnt was not a good idea cos for this period, the front row was reserved for our ghostly counterparts.

Shirlyn, my pal's younger sis, started the show with a bang, carrying it through with some mainstream and some lesser known songs. At times, I felt like was partying at Hard Rock Cafe during its hay days. It was sweet nostalgia.

How would I describe the band? I've seen them perform several times. They are good generally. But that night, as I saw them from right in front of the stage. I think they're great, she's great. Her range of vocals catered easily to the different genres of music. Spunky, very soulful, energetic and without a hint of breathlessness. It was then that I decided that they're probably the best band around now, easily joining the great bands of yore. However, I wish the other members would move a little more, just to get into the thick of things.

The concert ended in about an hour's time. I wish it didn't, for at this stage in life, that nostalgic vibe is hard to come by, but when it does, you wish it doesn't slip by in an instance. True to age old wisdom, a bitch at another venue touched a nerve that really pissed the good mood out of me that I shall dedicate my next post on her. But hey, you don't let such things affect you for too long.

Thank you, The Unexpected, for that great night.

Art My Foot!

2005-07-22T13:47:00.000-07:00

In Life! yesterday, there was an article describing the homecoming work of a local artist. Judging by the number of biennales the artist attended, he should be well-known. Hmmm... I wonder why...

Many years back when I was in primary school, I went on an excursion and 1 of the stops was the National Museum. I remember it was my first time there and I was disappointed with the dead and dull environment within. I came across a white table with a huge bundle of black coloured garden hose amongst the other art pieces. Stunned as I was, I asked a "janitor-looking" lady (whom I found out later was the curator) if that was indeed an art piece. I'd thought she was about to wash the floor with the hose.

To my dismay, it turned out to be a real art piece. Fortunately for me, at that young tender age, I did not have to try to sound artsy and think up some literary mambo jambo to express my appreciation of that piece. Vaguely, my immediate response was,"haa?? wa lau eh". Since that day, I never set foot in the museum again.

Reading yesterday's article brought up pent-up feelings in me again. Such art, to me, wastes prime space and gives "artists" a false sense of glamour. While I do not appreciate art in general, looking at Van Gogh's simple works in vibrant colours or Picasso's distorted portraits really make me sit and stare at their works in awe, wondering what was in their minds as they poured their emotions into their works. However, looking at the photo in yesterday's article, I just wonder what is wrong with such artists' minds. Call me a Philistine, but to have an empty hall painted in white with an automatic sliding door installed called a homecoming work is total BULLSHIT to me. If anything, it only reflects, to a layman, that after years for international exposure, Singaporean artists have nothing to show for. There's a chinese saying - "jiao1 bai2 juan4".

To have a journalist take up half a page of the papers to try to analyze the work, to put it on a pedestal and almost worship it makes it so much more saddening. To me, the art world is made up of 3 main parties. The artists, the critics and the rich buyers. The former 2 start the ball rolling while the latter foolishly fuels the process. Quote from article - "In the wake of debate about flagging interest in museums here, the artist needles us thus: Go on, walk out, move along now, there's literally nothing to see." This is evidently someone trying to sound smart in light of the art piece's nothingness. An white-washed empty hall with a sliding door is not art! It's really a case of been-there-done-that. If the work was meant to shock, some artists have done it before and managed to wow the critics. But now, where's the wow factor? It seems more a case of a close relative of "writer's block" - "artist's block". So how does a work like that get played up? There you go, in comes the critic to add substance to nothingness. And you wonder why there is flagging interest in museums here?

Legend has it that in 1 of the English Literature exam in NUS years ago, a very book-smart student who spent hours poring through books to prepare for the paper was dumbfounded when the question read,"Describe Courage". It was not a question where you can use knowledge from a textbook to begin answering. Frustrated, this student wrote 3 words,"This is courage!" and walked out of the exam hall. Fortunately for him, the lecturer was a Caucasian who gave him an "A" for that. Given a local lecturer, he would have been awarded the other end of the grade spectrum.

So, if we are to bring about interest in art to Singaporeans in general, do it genuinely. Let's not fool us with such thoughtless works, perpetuated by critics who put in lots of thoughts to bring intelligence to the works. Otherwise, we will continue to see empty museum halls.

redcocoon

NKF Field Day

2005-07-17T23:44:00.000-07:00

Well, the dust is still settling from the recent furore. Classic case of David and Goliath, with a twist. Goliath won. In light of the all the events that transpired, it is not difficult to look at the case cynically. It just further proves my own opinion that what we give to charity never fully benefit the needy.

While signing off donating directly through the phone, monthly contributions or the tin cans since a long time ago, I still do give to the needy on the street or help a stranger in need.

Several high profile people have emerged to say that we should not stop giving as the people who need help would be the ones to suffer. Latest personality would be Mrs PM who wrote in her own capacity. What I feel is that most Singaporeans still want to give, but there must be accountability. While it is not wrong for NKF to accumulate its reserves, it is very wrong to withhold information to make it seem poorer than it is. That is the crux of the matter - to be truthful.

The higher-uppers really do not seem to empathise with the man on the street. True, what the former CEO earned may be peanuts compared to the donations he had garnered. However, the funds were not acquired through capilistic wit, but through imploring the kindness of every man on the street. So, to a man earning "real peanuts" and still donates to charity, it is not acceptable that the head earns so much.

Anyway, whatever happened to the very necessary altruistic unselfishness that should be the cornerstone characteristic of a charitable leader? Put another earnest person wanting to serve the sick and I believe he'll not do as bad. Why? Because the sick are still around and they need help.

During the disastrous tsunami saga, many Singaporeans contributed generously without any dare-devil shows put up by media personalities or the promise of winning condominiums.

My point is - there is goodness in everyone. To help the less fortunate, we do not need a highly qualified person who sulks that he is getting lesser than what he would get in the private sector. We need a highly enlightened person who sincerely wants to help the poor, someone who answers a higher calling beyond making money. We need to know that money put into charitable organisations must be spent fully on the needy.

redcocoon

Days of Being ... In a Team

2005-07-04T17:23:00.001-07:00

Just the other day, I was at Marina Bay for the Singapore Dragon Boat Festival. My woman and I were there to cheer a good friend who joined the team for many reasons, all good ones though. Seeing him all lean again reminds me that I should go back to my Muay Thai sessions after a 6-month hiatus.

The moment we stepped into the event area, we could feel the electrifying atmosphere. The groups of people from different institutions wearing colour coded t-shirts, the drums, whistles and the cheers to egg their teams on. Sure, the cheers don't change much over the years, the drums and whistles are still the mainstay in most competitions; but the competitive atmosphere and the vibes going through me reminded me of all the glory days during school tournaments.

Even as a non-participant that day, it sure felt good cheering my friend on, seeing clearly through my binos how he put himself on the line at every oar-stroke made me awe-struck. It was a rush seeing how the team drew closer to the other teams towards the fininshing line, and how the other team members cheered to will the boat closer to the frontrunners.

The team finished fourth, just a second from the 3rd team. But it's a fantastic acheivement for a team that was formed just 3months ago and where it's participants have irregular work schedules. Kudos to the entire team!

Being there made me yearn for the days of being in a team. The camaraderie, the cheering, the sweat, the tears, the adrenalin rush..... WOOOSAAAA!!!!!

redcocoon

Apathy

2005-06-29T18:41:00.000-07:00

Apathy is when you don't care.

Apathy is when you are aloof.

Apathy is when you are detached.

Apathy is when you are disinterested.

Apathy is when you refuse to help a drowning person, not even offer your handphone and life buoy to help someone help a drowning person.

To those who were present but did not bother, f#@k you all!

May you go swim in the deep end sometime. One good turn deserves another... and yeah, it works the other way round too.

redcocoon

Yeah, Bring Out The Imp In You!

2005-06-24T19:02:00.000-07:00

In the New Paper today, there was a report about the fountain at Ngee Ann City foaming with soap suds. Passers-by were thrilled and took snapshots with their mobiles, exclaiming it was X'mas in June!

It turned out that the foaming was caused by some prankster, who may have poured dishwashing liquid into the water feature. Damages are estimated at $1,000 to $2,000 - a measly sum to Ngee Ann City. However, the immense joy it must have brought to shoppers and to myself, as I looked at the photo in delight, was well worth the cleaning up efforts.

Dishwashing Liquid - $4.50
Cleaning Costs - $1000 - $2000
MMS Snapshots - $0.50
Putting A Smile On Our Faces - Priceless!

While I am generally law-abiding, I strongly believe that we need such occasional fun and harmless pranks to liven things up, to laugh a little; instead of leading a monotonous life servicing this or that loan. Stop along your journey and smell the roses, you know?

This reminds me of another harmless prank my friend played on the friendly-turned-not-so-friendly staff of the former Denny's restaurant at the Marine Parade branch years back. After finishing our meals and just about to settle the bill with our week's savings in coins, this friend unscrewed the cap off a salt shaker and carefully turned the shaker upside down and laid it back to it's rightful place, with the salt still intact. Then the cap was placed on top of the shaker's bottom. Any unsuspecting person not in the know wouldn't have been able to tell the difference.

As we stood up and prepared to walk out, ever so proudly togged in our S.A.P. School uniforms, the poor waiter started wiping our table and lifted the salt shaker off the table. What we heard after that was a string of expletives followed by,"XXX High School people also like that ah!"

Over the years, I realised that even brightest students from the best schools were also fun-loving, horny, and even nasty. It is just harder to believe that could be any bad in the supposedly studious ones. Well, believe! We are after all, sinners!

So, to all you people out there, go have some harmless fun once in a while, bring out the imp in you! I assure you, we all like to cheat a little, like a stiff drink, like to skirt-chase, like a good blow job... ahhhhhh... the list goes on...

redcocoon

Bangkok ... Patpong's Twilight Knights

2005-06-17T15:30:00.000-07:00

Although this was my 3rd trip to Bangkok since adulthood, I never saw Patpong as I saw it this time. This time round, we really walked almost every lane in the area. Colourful, I must say.

The most memorable image I have of Bangkok would be touts carrying a small laminated white piece of paper. On the paper are simple sketches of a naked male and female, becoming one, in assorted positions. Though I did not really scrutinize the text on the paper, I kept seeing and hearing the words "Ping Pong Show". I was in my previous schools' "ping pong" teams but never quite saw the sport as a show. It took some seconds to register that it actually meant the already obsolete "Tiger Show". Not bad, even these raunchy revues evolve.

Images of showgirls popping ping pong balls from their muffs came to my mind and I giggled like a small boy. Haha! While curious, one can't be too careless about just going into any club a tout tries to usher you into. So, we took the moral highroad and said, "Later". A few shops down the lane, my mind was still seeing ping pong balls.

On the advice of my good friend,ahtiong73 (http://ahtiong73.blogspot.com) , we went around looking for King's Castle 3. King's Castle 1 apparently had normal looking ladies, King's Castle 2 prettier, and King's Castle 3 the post-op lady-boys. While looking for the place, saw the series of King's Castles, another series of Queen's Castles and many others. It seemed obvious they were mainly controlled by the King's Group, a monopoly of sorts.

Found the place, went in, overwhelmed was my first reaction. Never have I seen so many pretty men all in 1 room. Took a seat with my woman right in front of the platform with stainless steel poles taking centre stage. It was lady-boys galore!

While I wasn't turned on in that sense, it was hard not to appreciate the very feminine figures presented in front of us. It was a weird feeling that set me wondering if the human mind is able to look past the biological typecast and accept things as they are on the surface - very much like appreciating a piece of fine oil painting, without caring too much if the artist was a male, female or lady-boy. Right there, it was clear many men there had already cast aside gender bias and eagerly appreciating the fine work of plastic surgeons.

Then, still lost in thought, 1 particularly curvaceous lady-boy who looked very Japanese sauntered over and "accidently" bumped her boobs into my elbow. Startled and fearing I might have knocked over somebody's jugs of beer (yes, pun very intended), I turned around and apologized. She said, "it's ok" and returned my politeness by pulling down her bikini top to reveal a pair of too-perfectly rounded bosoms.

Still abit culture-shocked, I vaguely remember her climbing onto the table-top and lay in front of us and struck a pose a la sleeping Buddha. She tucked down her G-string and pointed to us to slip a note down her crotch. Wa lau eh, blur...

Trying to avoid her direct stare, I start looking around the bar. Then I realize that there are not as many bouncers as there are in the other bars. If my memory does not serve me wrong, from an article I read, even with all the hormonal injections, these lady-boys are still men internally, meaning they're still as strong. I believe these Knights of King's Castle can still pack a punch.

I hope those farangs are wise enough not to cause trouble at King's Castle 3, for looks can be very deceiving...

redcocoon

Bangkok ... The Chatuchak Dilemma

2005-06-15T17:47:00.000-07:00

Made my maiden trip to the famous Chatuchak Weekend Market. With ample warnings from friends, took lots of fluids (Singha!) and togged myself in the flimsiest of clothes.

Reached the place, was overcome by the size of the place. Still could not prepare enough for the ravages of nature. Was sweating, yes SWEATING, not perspiring, like a horse. However, the need to buy and the sheer challenge of covering as much ground as possible kept me going.

With so many things to look at and buy, I had to weigh the pros and cons of each item I was going gaga over. Shortlisting my needs and weeding out my wants was done in tandem with squeezing through the narrow aisles made narrower by fellow sweaty shoppers.

After deciding more or less what I thought I needed, I went around looking for them. Then came the next dilemma - whether to get the item at the first shop I find or to look for cheaper, greener pastures, but risk not being able to navigate back to the first shop. It was one of the hardest choices during my stay there. Decisions decisions...

I never experienced such hot weather at Bangkok. Reinforced by the crowd and narrow aisles, the whole place was a pressure cooker. While in the shadier, sheltered lines of shops, the air was hotter and stuffier than Singapore's hot humid nights. On the other hand, out of the sheltered Zones to the open driveways, although with minimal draft, the sun was waiting to drench me with its searing heat. In the end, my shopping pattern took the form of hopping in and out of the shade every 15 to 20 minutes.

Well, with the generous loss of minerals through sweating comes the desire to drink something ice cold, right? And with high volumes of fluids flowing into your system, something's gotta give, right? My bloody bladder was working at twice its normal rate, resulting in my visiting the very well-visited stinking urinals. By the third visit, I was torn between quenching that darned thirst and standing in front a piece of ceramic I wasn't too fond of. And of course, these mini detours cost me time better spent satisfying my needs!

By the 4th hour there, I was beat. Bags of various proportions and a very antique looking painting of Buddha's profile were hanging from both of my hands. Then, the mother of all dilemmas emerged. To stay on another hour to comb the remaining shops or head back to Patpong for a deep soothing massage.

While bouncing off that dilemma against the stinking cracked urinal, I chose Patpong over the pong. And maybe catch a ping pong show thereafter.

redcocoon

Bangkok ... Good Clean Fun

2005-06-12T22:07:00.000-07:00

Just came back from Bangkok last night. During my pre-Bangkok trip days, I always thought Bangkok was a place to, well, bang your c#@k. Now, I think otherwise. It can be good clean fun.

This trip was purely retail therapy. Whaddaya know, it actually worked! MBK, Siam Square, Suan Lum Night Market and the gargantuan Chatuchak Weekend Market were all covered in 3 days. The constant haggling of prices was fun, though it was really a test of endurance, especially when we didn't speak the same lingo. However, we Singaporeans seem to have created a bad name for ourselves there. “Hallo sir, come see, wha you lie? I gip you good pri”. So I step into the shop and look-see. “Where you prom, sir?”. To which I proudly say “Singapore”. And then comes the realization, “OH! Singapore…”. The attendant gives me a once over and loses half her enthusiasm. Is it my fault that we’re good at bargaining?

Well, the trick, I found out, is to be there early and be the first potential customer. They’ll be eager to make their first sale, I’ll be happy with my cheap buy that I so desperately think is a must-buy, only to have it collecting dust when back home. With your money, they’ll swipe it carefully all over their wares while chanting some stuff, obviously for good luck. I’m glad I did my good deed and spread some luck to the people.

After a hard day's shopping, it was easy to submit to the middle-aged masseuse to knead away the happy aches. An hour and a half of non-erotic but fully satisfying massage cost only $12.00! I was ready to shop again.

redcocoon

Of Carts & Cabs

2005-06-01T16:50:00.000-07:00

What's wrong with people? I hate to generalise but, over the weekend, I've realised some people can really be lost in their own world, sparing not a thought for people around them.

I was at this megamart at Suntec City. I must first applaud the management for creating a vibrant wet-market like environment in an air-conditioned arena. Sure was fun.

However, add in the cart-pushing housewives and a few stray uncles, the situation could become chaotic. If you know me, I'm stick-like - not much excess flesh on the sides. Still, I was bumped left, right and from behind. Those coming straight at me, I physically caught hold of the cart and steered it away from my oh-so-precious schlong.

Some didn't even bother giving a second look after bumping into fellow Carrefourers, much less apologise. My Gawd! Where's the courtesy that's for free? Thought us Singaporeans would be a cultured, considerate lot with the iconic durian that is the Esplanade. Sigh...

Worse still, as I was walking along precariously down this single lane aisle, a lady saunters along with a cart into my path. To avoid any collision, I step to one side and let her pass. Apparently seeing my sweet gesture, she still stops her cart inches in front of me, picks up a Gilette shaving cream and gives the tin a customary once over. I was stumped, both spiritually and physically. She left me stuck in the aisle wondering why such a beeeeee..itchhhhhh exists?!

Caught a movie afterwards. Felt better after napping through Star Wars (yes, intergalactic pyrotechnics don't turn yours truly on), I made my way home. Travelling along Marina Boulevard, I suddenly notice the cab in front of me slowing down to a complete stop. Driver was eyeing a group of kids on the pavement, willing them to become passengers. Now, this cab was on the second lane from the right!!!

As I slowed, he did not budge. I stopped, flashed my beams, horned once. He still did not flinch. I try to stay calm and filter to the next lane and move on. At the traffic light ahead, the same cab comes behind me flashing and horning. His cab was empty - probably blaming me for scaring away his prey with my high beams.

He should go shopping in Carrefour some time.

redcocoon

Women (Scholar) Bashing

2005-05-22T18:16:00.000-07:00

It's time to join in the whining.

I'm not shocked at all to read what that woman scholar had to say. However, I am shocked to read what that woman scholar had to say ON THE PAPERS. There IS a DIFFERENCE between pyjama-party bitching and bitching on the national papers. Not very bright, I say.

Now, why do we whine about doing National Service? Because it takes away at least 2 years of our prime? Because it pays us peanuts and demands more than monkeys out of us? Because it simply sucks? All of the above? Worst of all, we go through all that to have ungrateful lasses calling us whining wimps.

A young male scholar was recently taken to task for carrying racist remarks about minority races in his blog. Don't we have a more lethal character now - one who blurts sexist remarks representing half the population???

I was mulling over why such words could come out of these supposed smart belles. Do they really think so, or have they been conditioned to think that way, or are they simply Yes-Women, trying to please their bosses?

From a pass vocation, I see women settling themselves comfortably into their comfort zones and signing their lives away to that 1 stable job, happy to come in at 9, check some emails, tea-break at 10, lunch at 12, tea-break at 3, and finally rushing to do the job proper beyond 6. The boss prepares to leave and sighs contentedly,"Women staff are so much more productive". Women do seem more contented and less willing to venture out of the comfort zone. The thought of complaining when they have a stable job is certainly out of this world.

However, since days of yore, men have wanted something more. To make good and join the ranks of the elite - the rich and powerful. The Asian male still very much wants to give his family the good life. National service simply isn't part of the bigger picture. While we still serve out the mandatory 2-year service, it isn't asking too much to whine abit. Women whine more about broken nails that take 2 weeks to grow back. Also, while it may seem prestigious to obtain a scholarship at 18, things do change along the way. Guys who thought the scholarship would be their ticket to greatness begin to question the system, maybe eventually abandoning it. The bond breakers.

Women these days are a confused lot. It probably began in the 90's when sexual equality was on every woman's lips. A sudden liberation from age-old traditions empowered women to break free from the general tributes of the Asian Woman. Feminism became a permanent fad.

However, here in Singapore, women are on the cusp of feminism and traditional feminity. While we cannot expect them to cook for us anymore, we're still expected to hold the doors for them. While we cannot get them to mend a hole in the trousers, we're still supposed to change a light bulb. While they scream "Chauvinist!" when we expect them to keep their mouths shut, they go on to mindlessly tell the media baseless nonsense when we let them.

What about pleasing the boss? No matter what, whatever the boss says, one can't be too wrong by saying the same thing? But when a boss says you would get bombed flat if you criticize his actions, it sure sounds a like a bad mix of self-righteousness and misguided infallibility. Now, no matter how great a boss' achievements are, one still needs humility, especially when dealing with the masses, no? So, I say be fair to both parties. I'm sure in one of your corporate-learning retreats at tropical resorts, you've learnt that communication is the key and that teamwork is vital?

In life, we learn that there are always 3 sides to a story. Your side, his side, and the truth.

redcocoon

The Phantom Driver

2005-05-17T13:38:00.000-07:00

How many times have you been spooked by the vehicle in front of you, because you can't see the back of the head of the driver? Worse, the vehicle is crawling at a snail's pace in the wee hours of the night. You wonder,"Damn, is this the supposed driverless white car that cruises on expressways at night just to cause you to crash?". You heard of that urban legend, haven't you? As you start to freak out and goose bumps start popping out even at the thickest part of your skin, you step on the gas to overtake the phantom driver, but lo and behold, as you pass the vehicle, it's just your neighbourhood aunty in the front seat, taking her own sweet time.

I say, women can't drive. My god! Women drivers - once they're on the road, all the basic rules of driving are thrown out of the window. Signalling? No way I'm gonna take my hands off the wheel to flick that sign on, those behind me ought to watch where I'M going. Blind spot? What's that?! I'm not blind I can see clearly thank you very much, those behind me ought to watch where I'M going. Speed limit of 90? Well, I need a diversity factor of 20kph, so 70's just about right for me. Those in a hurry can overtake me from the left where's there's plenty of space, those vans are so slow. Don't horn or flash me when I keep stepping on the brakes, the rule of thumb is 5 car lengths in front ok? Anyway, those behind me ought to watch where I'M going.

And don't get yours truly started on women pedestrians. Damn, their roads, their rules...

How about this? Just the other day, as I was going up the ramp in the multi-storey carpark of my office, keeping to my own lane, this lady driver swerves down the ramp, the same one that I'm on but in the opposite direction, and half her car is in my lane. I was sure it was gonna be a head on collision. I jammed, she jammed. I looked out straight into her face, give her this oft-used disgusted look and shake my head. Oh she gets pissed, starts gesturing wildly with her flabby arms, unwinds her window and shouts,"what you shaking your head for?!"

I reply,"You drive like a woman, man!" To which I get an angrier reaction,"Well, I AM a woman WAT!!!". Calmly, bent on irritating the crap out of her,"Oh, I'm sorry, I couldn't tell, you sure don't act like one." The next day, I notice a new scratch on the side of my car. Hey, I'm not accusing her or anything, just describing the sequence of events. Bitch.

On the road everyday, I get to meet several such phantom drivers. How they got their licences in the first place, I would never know. But the way they drive, there might as well be a real phantom driver manning the wheels. At least my goose bumps would not have gone to an anti-climatic waste.

redcocoon

Mind Bender

2005-05-11T14:37:00.000-07:00

Ok, this is for the world at large. It's an IQ question that's supposed to have a logical answer. Stumped me for some time now. So if anyone chances upon this, do think about it and send me the answer!!!

Here goes:

-There are 12 coins of equal shape and size
-However, 1 coin weighs differently from the 11 other ones, BUT, you do not know if it's heavier or lighter
-You are given a scale (same one as the scale that symbolises justice)
-You are given only 3 tries to determine the 1 coin that weighs differently from the rest

Ok, go figure...

The One That Didn't

2005-05-08T03:14:00.000-07:00

My one post about the casino that was afterall ... a forgone conclusion. Alas, they're still gonna maintain the freakin' $100 "cover charge"!

SCRAP ENTRANCE FEES, OR SCRAP CASINO IDEA ENTIRELY

I have been following the debate on building a casino cum holiday resort in Singapore with cynical interest ever since the idea was brought up. Do not misunderstand. I am not taking any sides on this matter. There are definite pros and cons on this issue. More often than not, proponents and naysayers of a proposed casino resort are inevitably metamorphosed into warriors between good and evil; capitalistic bloodsuckers and social do-gooders.

But why does it have to be like that? When I visit the casino at Genting Highlands, I mentally set aside a certain sum I am willing to lose (come on, in an established gambling house, the odds are always stacked against the visitor) before stepping into the casino. When I toured Las Vegas, I treated the money I lost at the tables as a cover charge to a club. Of course, I hope to make a killing at the tables. However, by simple mathematical logic, the “house” wins most times. So, the money I mentally set aside is like my entry fee to an amusement park, for me to enjoy the ride on the Roulette Table or to watch an “entertainer” demonstrate his deftness in flipping cards on the Blackjack Table, getting thrilled by the money chips doing the cha cha between the players’ and dealer’s compounds. To me, it is just entertainment.

Refer to the Straits Times article, “To Get Into A Casino, Pay $100 A Day or $2,000 A Year”, dated Dec 30, 2004. Having read the article, I was surprised, yet, at the same time, not surprised. Let me explain my conflict of emotions. Having been a Singapore Heartlander all my life, I am comforted by the authorities’ desire to protect the general good of Singaporeans – therefore, I am not surprised by the rather drastic guidelines imposed on the potential gaming operator. Why am I surprised? Well, to say “the entrance fees were a signal that gambling was not a way to make a living” and “Singaporeans are mature and should be entrusted to make responsible decisions” in the same breath does not really go down well with the country’s drive towards a nation of thinking people, whereby involved Singaporeans in a knowledge-based economy act rightfully without any micro-supervision. It seems we Singaporeans are still not trusted to make our own informed decisions.

To pay $100 a day to be able to enter the casino is steep, an amount too exorbitant for me to swallow. Yes, I may be one of them that this weird guideline manages to keep out, but I am definitely not the one that the guideline aims to keep out. This does not make me an impulse gambler, as the guideline seems to imply, but it definitely gives me the impulse to skip visiting the resort altogether. On the flipside, $100 a day would not be able to detract the compulsive gambler who seeks to make a fortune from the gaming tables; in addition, an annual fee of $2,000 is such a big discount from the total summative daily fee that it is such a steal for the gambling addict to pay upfront to secure his seat at the table. Now, having paid a “membership” fee for a whole year, it would be no surprise for a kiasu Singaporean to want to maximize his privilege, thereby putting more money on the table, more often.

In an era where any entrepreneurial startup (a gamble of sorts) requires tens of thousands as seed capital, it seems a no-brainer to “set up shop” for only $2,000 a year; what’s more, one gets to keep his full time job to fuel his new startup or to sustain his lifestyle in case the startup fails. To a compulsive gambler who thinks (everyday) that lady luck has set upon him today, no “fair” amount of entrance fee can prevent him from trying his luck.

So, we can choose to be an elitist nation and allow only the rich and famous, or more blatantly only foreigners, to enter the grounds of this promising world-class resort; or we can choose to really believe that we Singaporeans are indeed mature and be entrusted to make responsible decisions whether or not to enter the mythical (in my opinion) modern day shadow of the valley of darkness.

Let us for once put our money where our mouths are and allow Singaporeans to select their own gambling destinies, to make their own decisions, to choose between a lifestyle or an addiction. Because to prevent us from doing this and that for fear that this or that might happen only reaffirms the idea that latent evil is present (in which case we have a bigger problem at hand). But whatever happened to the goodness of mankind? Whatever happened to the doctrine of innocent until proven guilty? For what is the use of preventing evil from emerging when it is so strongly believed that there is such a diabolical presence within us Singaporeans? For it would most definitely rear its ugly head in another avenue…

redcocoon

The One That Got Away

2005-05-05T01:20:00.000-07:00

An article to the Forum that never went into print. Here's what they did'nt want you to see...

WRITING RITE

Oops… did the title trigger the ire of some readers here? Isn’t the title of this article supposed to read “Writing right”? Well, as the grammatical counterpart of the now famous line, “Eats Shoots and Leaves”, I would like to highlight the importance of, well, writing right. Gone are the days where students adopt a certain procedure when writing. Introduction, Body and Conclusion have all been jumbled into a singular orgy of body text. “I” before “E”, except after “C”? Huh, what’s that?? Who cares, as long as you get the message across?

In recent times, proliferated by the popularity of communicating through SMS on the mobile phone, we have seen many reports on the general decline of the written English. Abbreviations of certain English words are widely used (or abused) in mobile text messages. Sadly, improper abbreviations have also appeared and masqueraded themselves as cool! Sadder to say, such new breed of words are increasingly being imported to schoolwork produced by our young students.

I cringe every time I see “Simon Rox!” or “Paula wuz so babeliciouz” or “Jane lurve Tarzan” text messages on the American Idol program. To all you Dudes and Dudettes out there, it is not cool to write like this! Our seemingly lost youth, in a bid to be different from one another, have misinterpreted the definition of cool. As oxy-moronic as it may sound, there are certain boundaries in trying to be different. Wanna be different? Try this. A says (not “sez”), “arse”, You say, “derriere”; A says “he rox!”, You say, “he’s so singularly/atypically cool!”; A says, “I dun like him staring at me”, You say, “I’m appalled by his blatantly salacious gaze fixated on my nubile torso”. Well, not the best of examples, but you get the picture rite…uh I mean, right? In short, it is cool to be unique and stand out from the rest, but please, do it the right way.

While I do not disagree fervently with the use of Singlish on a daily basis, we should never fully adopt Singlish without maintaining proper English as the basis of the language. In fact, it takes a strong foundation of the English language to understand Singlish, really. In the earlier seasons of local hit comedy, “Phua Chu Kang”, I remember Tan Kheng Hua’s character, Margaret, teaching (more like attempting to teach) Gurmit Singh’s Phua Chu Kang to speak proper English. I broke out in stitches when PCK pronounced façade as “fa-ca-dee” and parquet as “par-kwet”. While it may seem embarrassing to feature a Singaporean character speaking perfect Singlish (read: poor English) on national TV for the world to see, PCK was not entirely erroneous in reading the words the way he did. Well, at least he was not phonetically wrong.

My question is, “how many people not in the building construction industry ever came across the terms “façade” and “parquet” before PCK mouthed them off in typical Singlish fashion?”. In a knowledge-based economy, doesn’t the onus rest on us to find out what we do not know or understand? Simply put, the PCK show is an introduction of our common grammatical errors, a humourous dig at our own silly mistakes, but the rest is really up to us. The PCK show is not an English educational program. In any case, to the naysayer who insists PCK being a negative influence on us, we are in bigger trouble if a weekly half hour show could negate all the many hours of effort put in during school.

While there are basic rules to learning the English language, there are many exceptions that tend to confuse. It is really up to the individual to want to master the language. This may sound clichéd, but read the papers! Watch (and learn from) more English TV programs! Read more novels! Check the dictionary!

Adopt a right writing rite and write right. Rightly written?

redcocoon

Passing on of the Fourth...

2005-05-03T20:55:00.000-07:00

Today, as I turned away from my colleague after discussing some work, he asked rhetorically,"Hey! The former President just passed away, aren't you gonna pay your respects?"To my surprise, in retrospect at least, my instant reaction was "So?".

When the 1st one left for the nether world, I don't think I knew what a President meant then. The 2nd one? Tha little boy that I was was just elated we were let off from school half a day early. But now that I am at quarter-life and able to demonstrate emotions, I'm abit surprised myself at my own reaction with the passing on of the fourth.

Now, just to qualify myself, I didn't mean "So?" as in he deserves it or it's about time or anything negative to him or his family. I meant "So?" as in it's just another face in the obituary; not a close relative of mine; not a loved one of mine; but just simply ... the passing on of another homo sapien

Another qualification, I used "homo sapien" not for any other reason than to demonstrate my feelings on this matter - that it is, to me, the end of the road for just another human being of the masculine gender... no personality nor face attached to it. Religion teaches us all that death is inevitable; while in life, human hearts are touched by the Great ones. So, when Death hops along with his sickle and takes away a Great one, people would be sad right? So, why was my reaction "So?"????

I do sympathize with the family but not anymore than the family of someone I see in the Obituaries.

To put things in better chronological perspective, this incident happened at about 10.30am today (3 May 2005) and it is 7.35pm (3 May 2005) as I type. It's been haunting me ever since, as I went about work, as I was driving, as I was taking a dump, and as I was having dinner. All this time I was trying to connect with my inner self, to determine if I am just a heartless and unpatriotic bloke.

Am I heartless? Don't think so. That major calamity on 26 Dec 2004 saddened me a lot and it moved me to donate cash and kind generously by my own measure. Also, the demise of my beloved hamsters when I was a kid shed me buckets of tears that I totally staved off pets altogether cos I couldn't handle another heartbreak(how naive of me, as I learned later in life that women, not pets, are really the high-risk heartbreakers) . Am I unpatriotic? Ditto. I know if the day comes when we're at risk of colonisation again, I would be one of the few staying behind to kick some farang butts.

I can only deduce that it boils down to our culture of upbringing here, not at the family level, but more the macro level. The stuff that matter today seem to be getting the qualifications in the hope of a better future. But at what price? Singapore has always been described as a clean and green city. Ask any tourist and his instant reply is how neat everything is here. Thailand is the Land of Smiles. Japan is the epitome of politeness. What about the people of Singapore? That's what Singapore is. All hardware and no software.

My point is, finally, maybe, just maybe, we've been brought up to keep our mouths shut and leave it to the "higher-uppers" to take care of it all. No culture? Hey, just build 2 durians and pay exhorbitant prices and we're Philistines no more. No heart? Hey, just have more charity shows and entice us with more condos and cars to donate generously. No love? Hey, Romance Singapore! No faith in us as mature adults in the new IRs? Hey, just slap a $100 entrance fee on us. That'll teach us not to gamble our HDB flats away.

To a major extent, yes, maybe we can leave it to Big Brother (I know you're watching, dude). But to corner us to partake at an almost non-participatory level of social and cultural evolution will only lead to apathy. When we have no avenue other than Speakers' Corner to put a voice to our thoughts, we care less.

There you go.

Now, I sincerely offer my condolences to all who have lost their loved ones…

redcocoon