Call Me Ben Dover

I am recovering from piles. Yes, pain in the ass PILES. Always heard of this condition but never knew it hurt so much!

The pain started 2 days before it got too painful to ignore. I went to my regular doctor, a female one. As I walked into her room in trepidation, she smiled and said,"What's wrong, Mr Foo?"

"I think I have piles, doctor"

"Oh, any blood in your stool?"

"I don't know, I don't look into the bowl after I'm done. Is there any way to cure this through oral treatment?" (fearing the inevitable)

"Yes." (I brighten up!) "But I'm gonna have to take a look at it"

DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Can we not do this? I don't feel very comfortable about it"

She chuckles. "If I don't look at it, I wouldn't know what medication to give you. Now, get on the bed, lie on your side and pull your pants down"

Like a new toyboy, I coyly follow her instructions. I climb onto the bed, remove my pants slowly, pull them down, knowing I'm gonna regret this .... SNAP! Yup, the sound of latex slapping on her wrist. My doctor was ready to finger me.

"Relax... is it this lump?"

"UMMMMM......."

"Yup, you have piles" (I told you that when I first stepped in!)

"I'm giving you this pill, take 2 times daily, and cream , apply 3 times daily"

"Apply?"

"Ya, you just put some on your finger and push it in and rub" Wa lau eh!!!!!!

"And don't take too much heaty food, Mr Foo." (Doc, we crossed that line already, I feel closer to you now, you can call me on a first name basis)

So, for the past few days, I feel like a citizen from the Pink Nation, pleasuring myself. After my bath, my left hand propped on the basin, feet squarely on the floor, I'd BEND OVER the basin, arch myself forward by tiptoeing to have a better access, my right finger would be doing the dirty do.

I feel much better now, thank you for your concern.

My parents are right all this while. From now on, I would eat my brocolli and take more fruits.


redcocoon