Orgy of Useless Medical Researches

Just some time ago, I read an article in the Straits Times about the latest findings of a study some American doctors did. Without going into details of the study, the conclusion they drew at the end of the day was, "Men who eat too full in a meal are more likely to contract cancer than those who don't". Well, there you go, millions of dollars from public funds went to gastronomic waste.

Sometimes I wonder - who in the right mind approves such a study in the first place??? Really, what does a doctor hope to achieve in conducting such a study? That a starving guy might think,"Hmmm, I'm so hungry I could eat a cow, but that'll cause me cancer, so I'll just have a glass milk, thank you."? Or that an Ethiopian would rejoice in the fact that he's never gonna die of cancer, but from hunger?

The cynic in me insists that some doctors continue churning out such research ideas in the hope of obtaining regular funding. I believe there's some truth there. However, though a rocket scientist I'm not, it's really unfathomable how such silly studies could go under the radar and get funding for such irrelevant findings.

Oh there's more. It's been said that smoking amongst the older generation could diminish the chances of dementia. Yup, smoke all you want you old hag, you'll have a good and clear memory of how you lose your life to carcinogens. And then there's this other study that says eating chocolates would release endorphins in you and get you horny - an aphrodisiac of sorts. Ya right, keep shoving those bars down my dear. You'll be an unsatisfied nympho when you hit 200pounds on the scales. You'll end up boning yourself with a Toblerone. Ohhh, ribbed.

Why such researchers are called "Doctors", I'll never figure. Why those institutions approve such fundings, I'll never find out too. I just continue to amuse myself when I see such snippets on the papers. Incidentally, I've been doing some research myself. Of course there's no funding for my researches, so forgive me if my findings are skewed.

I conclude that marriage is the number 1 cause of divorces. I conclude that sexy women are number 1 cause of motor accidents. Any finally, I conclude that, statistically proven, life is the number 1 cause of death...


redcocoon