Poverty

Sometime in May, the Straits Times did a special write-up on the destitudes who are somehow neglected and left behind in currently-booming Singapore. It was something very close to my heart. Although I never had to beg for food, I wasn't exactly born with a silver spoon, maybe not even a copper one. Well, you could say "poverty" is a very distant relative whom I wish to turn my back on.

The past 3 decades have been dedicated to pawing my way out of this darkness. I would like to think I'm on the right track, no matter how long the journey takes. As a kid, I've had my unfair share of drooling over friends' new toys and "visitorless" festive seasons. It wasn't a good feeling.

But no matter how gloomy the going was, one person in my life refused to give up --- my Mummy dearest. Like I said, although I categorize myself among the have-nots, I never had to go hungry once, I had new clothes even during non-CNY days and I could take up taekwondo lessons. All because my Mum scrimped and saved and splurged sparingly on us 4 siblings.

She did her best. I love you, Mum.

While I had all those, I knew what poverty was like. Maybe I took the express route to knowing poverty. You don't wake up smiling. You asked God too many times "why", but never gotten an answer. You trudge along with eyes on the concrete in most things you do, which are not many things, cos you can't afford them anyway.

Maybe being the youngest had its privileges. My siblings were good to me and so was my eldest cousin. They doted on me in most ways, while I duly reciprocated with good academic results, unwittingly shaping myself into the poster boy of the family, probably what they saw as the last vestige of hope to get out of the gutters.

Believe it or not, I never gave my Mum any trouble all these years. Through constant reminders by my eldest bro, I grew up always considering my Mum's feelings whenever I made any major decision. The only time I got into trouble was when I got caught for playing truant 3 days in a row during college days. But I consider that more my arse luck for getting caught than anything else. Come on, everybody played truant at least once before.

Anyway, I went through the entire local academic system, hoping that one day it would do me good. While I was not exceptionally hardworking, I managed to do relatively well in the scholastic arena, even on a latchkey kid lifestyle. I remember the days when my sis would cook all my meals while my parents were out working.

But no matter where life took me or how I sidetracked occassionally, my objective in life was always clear - to make good. It's been tough, very tough. But I'm still looking forward to this privileged lifestyle, yet I try hard not to to lose myself in the course of achieving it.

Now, I have a degree, a small business, drive an SUV and a matchbox of a flat. Seemingly comfortable to some, but far from what I set for myself.

It's a hard fight, but I'm pressing on in this Singaporean Dream. Just so I can tilt my nose up a couple degrees higher, just to give Mummy dearest the bragging right...


redcocoon