A Tale Of Two Dinners

Just recently, over 2 consecutive nights, I attended 2 dinners in which I played 2 extreme roles.

Dinner1 was hosted by a potential supplier who is looking to us (us being my company) to provide an inroad into a big pie; while dinner2 was painstakingly organized by us, hosted by a big-timer, and attended by another equally big-timer. It was really an exciting and tiring experience, playing such diverse roles over 2 nights.

Dinner1 was a casual setting and it happened in a simple Japanese restaurant in town. It was relatively easy for us. We just had to be ourselves. As potential rainmakers to the host, we were seemingly in power. And it felt good - having people taking extra care to make sure we were comfortable and happy. We shared experiences, related industry anecdotes, joked and laughed. Of course, we never crossed any lines nor did we take any advantage of our kind hosts.

Dinner2 was more tense for us. We took on the role of a middleman, aiming to secure a piece of a potentially big pie, through a commercial marriage of 2 biggies. It was not easy for us, for me especially. We had to be ourselves, and more. We were meek and swallowed the humble pie as we witnessed the 2 heads communicating over dinner. At the table of 8 diners, there were 2 billionaires, 2 millionaires, and 4 of us minions. I was simply awe struck, listening attentively, hoping to inherit nuggets of financial wisdom and vicariously experiencing commercial treachery as the big-timers took turns to share their thoughts and experiences.

On hindsight, I remember a Chinese saying which directly translates as "pig's head or dragon's tail". It means you can choose to either be the best of the worst OR be the worst of the best. The former can represent being contented with oneself and not aiming too high, while the latter can mean trying to be the best by being with the best.

I was in 2 minds about my 2 extreme roles. It really is easy to settle for a lower target in life and not stretch oneself. Lower expectations, lower pain. On the other hand, if one wants the high life, then going through the hard knocks is very necessary, bearing in mind that positive results are not certain at all.

This issue will probably bug me for awhile, as long as I have not achieved my wants. Of course, time is an important factor in this equation. As one grows closer to death, one lets go. For that, I wish Time is on my side.

Ultimately, I guess I still want to be a part of the privileged, not so much so I can drive the Ferrari I've always wanted, but to know that under my pillow, I have more than enough to the drive the Ferrari I've always wanted.


redcocoon

Courage

Some articles back, I mentioned a story about student who was asked to define "COURAGE" in a term paper - he demonstrated it by walking out the exam hall just minutes into the examination, and was rewarded with an "A"; at least, according to hearsay.

I'd like to examine "COURAGE" in another aspect --- one's career, and the rewards that ensue from being courageous.

How many of you are stuck in that same job you took up years back? I'm sure you know of someone who's been doing clerical work on the same desk for decades??

From my first job, I had the privilege of becoming firm friends with one guy whom I think is smart, has initiative, and scores high on the EQ factor. To me, he could go anywhere in life and achieve something. To me, at least. However, almost 10years on, he's still in the same company, albeit in a different department. From a fresh 22year-old boy to a 31year-old man.

Having spoken to people and through my own observations, I gather that people stay on a job that long for security and comfort, not wanting to rock a familiar boat they've become accustomed to. For some, they are comfortable with what they have, no risks, no pain; no gain too. While I find such existence boring and meaningless, I can't fault them on their choice of lifestyle.

The paradox comes about when one has dreams and desires of great fortunes. Well, my friend has such dreams too. So everytime I see him, I tell him that there's a bigger world out there. Each time, he is egged on and spurred spiritually to want to do something to his life. But after each session, he gets sucked back into the humdrum of the daily grind.

I have another friend I've known since 15. He's self-absorbed by nature. A cuter definition is "blur". Totally no EQ. However, he has wonderful analytical skills and can write so well it puts ST journalists to shame.

This guy has been bugging me for career advice. While I'm no corporate high-flyer, I guess he comes to me cos I tell it like it is, screwing him up where necessary. Ok, he's married, wife is gainfully employed, just shifted into a condo that their CPF contributions can easily take care of, and most importantly, parents do not depend on him.

Now, he's in a very enviable position to take that step to go where many successful men have gone - to step out of the comfort zone and take a shot at financial success. However, it's all been coffeeshop talk. We've talked till the cows came home and gone to graze again the next day, and yet, he still hasn't made that move. Many excuses come spilling out of his mouth but the final straw came when he said,"My parents and wife want me to hold down a stable job, that's why I can't do it."

What a load of crap! A man just blamed his current state on his wife and parents. I was rather disgusted, honestly.

I then realised. "COURAGE". It takes a hell lot of courage to take that step. This is especially true in Spore's context where failure is not in our books. I now know that many people stay on not because they want to, but because they do not dare to. In Spore, "following your passion" is not a given, what with the many bills to pay.

If you look closely, our pioneer artistes who have stayed the whole course - Dick Lee, the 2 brothers Kay Siu and Kay Tong, Mark Chan - they all have one thing in common --- rich fathers. Old money that allows them to follow their passion. Other than these people, how many actually dare and can afford to?

There is one person though. My beloved cousin, the big sister of the family. At 41, she made a career switch, and hit dirt, not paydirt. Financially stable in a statutory board for all her career life, she quit to become a student nurse, getting an allowance of less than $1k. Many, many, many people thought her crazy. To leave a stable job for a tough job - not exactly your Nightingale reception.

I, for one, hailed her as the Brave One. I was proud of her conviction to follow her heart. I respected her courage. Not many people would do it at that age. Till today, she's still getting flak, whether directly or behind her back. When I hear of it, I would jump to her defence. Like the cliched No Action, Talk Only, not many dare to do, but most criticise at will.

Ultimately, it's just a fine line between Courage and Stupidity. When one dares to take the step and eventually makes good, everyone would have put him on a pedestal for worship. When Olivia Lum quit her high paying job to invest in water treatment, I'm sure many relatives were disdainful, but look at her now. On the flip side, if one takes the step and falls, the crowd would all jump in and give a group "I told you so!"

In the end, life is short. Do not play to the gallery. Be true to yourself. Life would be boring without any challenges. My heart would skip a beat for the Courageous, for who dares ... wins.


redcocoon