Blogger vs Pro

Call it a mini spat. But I couldn't hold it in anymore.

Did anybody read this article from TODAY newspaper, by its oh-so-high-ranking deputy Plus editor? http://www.todayonline.com/articles/79024.asp

Well, it peeved me so much that I shot an instant retort back. No one has the right to say Singaporean movie goers are illogical. Heck, we pay for what we want to watch!


This is what I said:
I'LL STOP WATCHING CRAP IF YOU STOP WRITING CRAP. DEAL?

The proverbial final straw has emerged.

"A sad week for movies" really represents an entire
era of bad writing! I sincerely think your writer has
run out of quality topics to write since long ago.

On and off, I have read this writer's weekly articles.
To dedicate 1 whole page of free-writing to the writer
is simply unfathomable. Save for that 1 touching
article about the tsunami aftermath in Aceh, most of
the articles make no sense at all. They are not even
funny, if that is what he hopes to achieve. It is
simply beyond my understanding why such aimless
articles that are constantly churned out go under the
Editor's radar.

The fact that Deuce Bigalow is the No 1 movie in
Singapore means movie goers are illogical? An article
like this with no substance has no right to put down
an entire population of local movie goers! Who is to
say movies must be watched based on their
"arty-farty-ness"? Who is to decide on which movie the
audience should spend their money on?

Take note. The Box Office Top Ten list does not tell
the reader which movie has the most substance. It
simply tells you which one is the most popular,
currently. Your writer must be writing for the wrong
publication, for such wilful judgment on movie goers
is really unacceptable. Since when has the Top Ten
list been renamed "Arthouse Box Office Top Ten"?

Now, most people watch comedies for its entertainment
value - the ability to make one laugh, to forget just
for that 1.5 hours. It certainly does not mean the
audience has no taste!

When a writer wields his ink-soaked sword, he must be
responsible. If not, it would be "A Sad Era For
Journalism".

redcocoon


Well, he wrote back the next day, in subdued anger:
> Hello there
>
> Thanks for the entertaining, Singlish humour column.
>
> If you identified yourself, we could have sent your
> piece to HR.
>
> Because we certainly found it funny in the office.
>
> All the best
>
> Neil Humphreys (my real name)


I was surprised. A professional writer was actually offended by my honest thoughts and being a writer, couldn't hide it well in his words. He even challenged me to reveal my name, which I wasn't even trying to hide. So challenge and offer issued, I responded:
No problem dude. I'm just too used to my pseudonym.
The name's Mr Foo. So, save the subtle challenge.
If you guys need a writer with localized, cynical
humour, name your terms. Haha!

Looking back at what I wrote, I may have appeared too
rude. I apologise for that, Neil. It's just that I
have come across too many articles by journalists,
from different publications, who appear to have put
themselves up on their own imaginary pedestal for
self-worship, just cos they have the power of print.
It's frustrating, you know? So, it was an outburst on
my part.

Have a good night!

Yours
Mr Foo (my real name too)


I never heard from him after that. No job offers, no nothing... He must have sat back and thought it wasn't worth it. Redcocoon might just be a "ricebowl breaker".


redcocoon

The Apprentice

My favourite reality TV show is the Apprentice. It used to be The Amazing Race, but it's getting abit too boring, emphasising more on facets of team bickering than issuing good challenges. Now, the Apprentice is into its 3rd season, but it is interesting to see how the contestants still commit some real common mistakes.

Yesterday night's episode saw a repeat of such simple yet fatal mistakes. The challenge was to design an office tool which helps to reduce office clutter. This particular challenge was hosted by a company called Staples - a mega-sized corporation that has a turnover of US$15 billion a year. That's more than US$1 billion a month!

Mistake #1 - The leader of the losing team chose to do a pseudo-market survey by seating in the office and flipping the phone directory. (The winning team went down to a Staples store to conduct an actual survey)

Mistake #2 - The leader again decided that it was pointless to meet with the Staples executives, the very ones who would decide on the winning product. He felt that a phone conversation would suffice. (The winning team met with the executives face to face)

In past seasons and episodes, leaders who made such lousy calls were fired in the Boardroom by the man himself, Mr Trump. However, this time round, the leader went away unscathed. Well, Mr. Trump has said himself that that leader is one of his favourites.

Now, while seating comfortably on my new sofa and cursing at the contestants' stupid decisions, it is easy for me to pinpoint their mistakes. But of course, I have the power of 6/6 hindsight, a great bystander's view and without the actual heat of being grilled in the show. Or are the contestant's just plain silly? Hmmm.....

What set me thinking was this - is knowledge and work efficiency less important than the ability to "PR" and form relationships with the Boss, to get to the top? A recent comment from an associate had already started me thinking about this. This associate drives a premium soft-top, has a company car at his disposal, another spare car for the wifey, and owns 2 condos, all at age 31. In jest, yet I'm sure there's more truth than not, he said,"I don't know much but I can play politics and mind games real well".

Friends from various industries are always complaining that it's not how well you do your job, but how you can bring in cold hard cash for the company. That's why the rich, with their gold-plated network, get richer. The diligent working class never gets to breathe the air above that glass ceiling.

In my own experience, I left my first workplace cos I didn't know how to suck-up and bootlick. It was impossible to find that impetus to betray yourself, especially when our system promised a good life as long as you did well in school. People I know have had better corporate career paths by helping the boss move house (yes, hard labour, and I helped!), be the boss' caddy in the wee hours of the morning, and even handing the boss a box of luminous Hello Kitty condoms from Bangkok. Really, I'm not kidding.

For me, it's not so much of not being able to swallow my pride and go down that road. It's more about me not being able to kiss the boss' ass without feeling too cheesy about it. When I hear what people do to get a step up, including what I mentioned above, I just cringe. It's simply beyond me to pull such stunts with a straight face and still be able to see myself in the mirror. I'm a Heineken guy (in more ways than one) --- Be True to Yourself.

Well, I guess there's alot to learn in life. At times, you do need to carry some balls to get ahead, or even just to keep up. As a friend once said,"What's pride? Can eat or not?"; and then there's the proverbial "Pride comes before a fall".

Me? I'm still an apprentice myself in the school of life. So, I'm gonna keep on watching The Apprentice and pick up a few tips from the master developer himself, and from all the contestants. As someone once said,"Life is too short to experience everything yourself, so learn from other people's mistakes".


redcocoon

Orgy of Useless Medical Researches

Just some time ago, I read an article in the Straits Times about the latest findings of a study some American doctors did. Without going into details of the study, the conclusion they drew at the end of the day was, "Men who eat too full in a meal are more likely to contract cancer than those who don't". Well, there you go, millions of dollars from public funds went to gastronomic waste.

Sometimes I wonder - who in the right mind approves such a study in the first place??? Really, what does a doctor hope to achieve in conducting such a study? That a starving guy might think,"Hmmm, I'm so hungry I could eat a cow, but that'll cause me cancer, so I'll just have a glass milk, thank you."? Or that an Ethiopian would rejoice in the fact that he's never gonna die of cancer, but from hunger?

The cynic in me insists that some doctors continue churning out such research ideas in the hope of obtaining regular funding. I believe there's some truth there. However, though a rocket scientist I'm not, it's really unfathomable how such silly studies could go under the radar and get funding for such irrelevant findings.

Oh there's more. It's been said that smoking amongst the older generation could diminish the chances of dementia. Yup, smoke all you want you old hag, you'll have a good and clear memory of how you lose your life to carcinogens. And then there's this other study that says eating chocolates would release endorphins in you and get you horny - an aphrodisiac of sorts. Ya right, keep shoving those bars down my dear. You'll be an unsatisfied nympho when you hit 200pounds on the scales. You'll end up boning yourself with a Toblerone. Ohhh, ribbed.

Why such researchers are called "Doctors", I'll never figure. Why those institutions approve such fundings, I'll never find out too. I just continue to amuse myself when I see such snippets on the papers. Incidentally, I've been doing some research myself. Of course there's no funding for my researches, so forgive me if my findings are skewed.

I conclude that marriage is the number 1 cause of divorces. I conclude that sexy women are number 1 cause of motor accidents. Any finally, I conclude that, statistically proven, life is the number 1 cause of death...


redcocoon

Uncle, You Play Volleyball Also?

I just settled into my comfortable new crib. Housewarming was a blast, where many friends and relatives turned up. My friend, AhTiong, was nice enough to gather a few friends to add a DVD HD recorder to my living room, COOL.... though I haven't figured how exactly to use it yet.

Anyways, new place, new resolutions. Told myself it's time to get fit again. In my estate, there's a basketball court and enough tracks for jogging.

One night, together with a pal who moved within 5minutes drive from my place, I went to check out the basketball court. There were many kids hanging around. Without warming up our 3 decade-plus old bones, we hit the basket and were promptly approached by the teenagers to join us. Ok, on.

The first few minutes were hell! My pal and I were panting like dogs 5minutes into the 2-on-2 game. During an intermission, my pal said, "I think I twisted my back". But we soldiered on, surprisingly holding our own against the boys who were probably half our age or younger.

An hour later, another friend joined us. While re-organising the teams, we shot baskets casually, and then it happened. A ball came at me after bouncing off the board. Too lazy to take a shot, I casually passed it to another kid, a la volleyball style - you know, a 2two-handed clasp where you hit the ball with your wrists.

"Eh Uncle, you play volleyball also?"

"Uh (youthful me crumbling inside) yes, abit."

"You play in Sentosa too?

"No la, I'm too old for that." Self-deprecating humour....sigh

Another hour of solid ball play ensued. My pal was holding his back most of the time while I was out of breath most times. But it was fun. Seeing the group of boys having fun reminded us of our teenage years.

So, are we too old for sports altogether or are we just plain lazy? Old compared to the boys, yes. But then there are so many more older people who're definitely more active than us. The father-in-law of a friend of mine has a full basketball team!

So what's our excuse? Haiz... The next day, my pal went to the doctor's. He'd sprained his back. The doctor chuckled and said he should've stuck to swimming. Well, looks like my road to fitness has taken a beating.

But with a little perseverance, I might just make it. With more blood rushing through my body, I hope I'll, at least, look like an Uncle no more.


redcocoon